“First comes love. Then comes marriage. Then comes the baby in the baby carriage.” This familiar rhyme was often recited among friends when discussing romantic interests during childhood. However, traditional relationships are not the only form that marriage can take. Recently, platonic marriages have gained popularity, as more individuals recognize the value of friendship and companionship in their unions.
As noted in a recent article from the New York Times, “Today some people are taking their friendships a giant step further.” They are embracing platonic marriages, where partners commit to supporting each other through thick and thin without the complications of romantic feelings. This arrangement allows couples to enjoy a deep bond rooted in compatibility and mutual understanding, often opting to keep their family lives separate from romantic interests.
What Exactly Is a Platonic Marriage?
Much like platonic love, a platonic marriage is centered around friendship rather than romantic or sexual attraction. Such marriages can occur between any combination of individuals—men and women, women and women, men and men, or any other pairings. According to Kathy Nickerson, a marriage counselor, “A platonic marriage is simply defined as a marriage that is non-sexual.”
Can Any Marriage Transition to a Platonic One?
Absolutely! Any marriage has the potential to become platonic, provided both partners consent to the arrangement. Angela Amias, a licensed therapist, explains that couples can choose a platonic marriage from the beginning or transition into one over time. This shift might happen when sexual intimacy diminishes, yet both partners remain committed to maintaining their relationship.
Historical Context of Platonic Marriages
Though the history of platonic marriages isn’t extensively documented, the idea has existed for centuries. The Florentine scholar Marsilio Ficino discussed amor platonicus, or platonic love, in the 15th century. Plato suggested that love should transcend physical desires, a notion that even the Catholic Church adopted through concepts like Josephite marriage.
How Prevalent Are Platonic Marriages?
While specific statistics on platonic marriages are scarce, the National Health and Social Life Survey indicated that 2% of married participants reported no sexual intimacy for at least a year. This suggests that a small percentage of married couples may already be navigating or could soon enter a platonic relationship.
Benefits of Platonic Marriages
Why would two non-romantic partners choose to marry? The advantages of a platonic marriage are plentiful, extending beyond mere financial benefits. Angela Amias highlights that such marriages foster intentional family dynamics, reduce jealousy, and enhance connections often overlooked in traditional marriages. They can appeal to asexual, aromantic, pansexual, and polyamorous individuals. Additionally, transitioning to a platonic marriage can be a viable alternative to divorce for couples who wish to remain together while stepping away from sexual intimacy.
Do Platonic Marriages Really Work?
Yes, they can! If both partners clearly understand the parameters of their relationship and maintain open communication, a platonic marriage can thrive. Kimberly Perlin states that as long as partners are flexible and capable of addressing conflicts, there’s no reason to believe that this arrangement won’t be successful.
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Summary
Platonic marriages, rooted in friendship rather than romantic attraction, are gaining traction as individuals seek deeper connections. These unions can provide various benefits, including emotional intimacy without the complications of sexual relations. With mutual consent and understanding, any marriage can evolve into a platonic partnership, offering an alternative to traditional romantic unions.