Can you do self-insemination at home ?
It all began with a simple bubble gun. My son, overjoyed that it was allowance day, had been pleading with his dad to take him to the store. They returned home with a few items, including a vibrant purple bubble gun. We generally enforce a no-toy-guns policy, allowing only foam-bullet guns for indoor play. I wasn’t thrilled about the bubble gun, but I figured it was a cheap toy that would quickly lose its appeal.
On the day the mail carrier arrived to deliver a package, my son was happily shooting bubbles into the air for his little sister. After thanking the mail carrier, I watched in horror as my son playfully aimed his toy gun at the delivery truck. I quickly knelt beside him, lowering myself to his level, and firmly instructed him never to aim any kind of gun, even a toy, at anyone or anything. I reminded him that this could not only be dangerous but could also lead to severe consequences for a Black boy in America. The tragic case of Tamir Rice loomed in my mind, emphasizing that police and the public often cannot distinguish between real and fake guns, putting my son at risk.
He listened earnestly, but my heart raced as I sat back down, questioning whether I had reacted appropriately. As a white woman, I have been conditioned to view the police as protectors, trusted and respected. My race, socioeconomic status, and gender afford me privileges that my four Black children do not share. How could I have overlooked this reality, especially after recently calling the police to our home?
While playing outside with my younger children, we suddenly heard two loud shotgun blasts. Having grown up in the countryside, I recognized the sound, although it was jarring in our suburban neighborhood. My husband, working from home, rushed outside, concerned. We decided to call the police.
Within moments of calling 911, a young white officer arrived to ask what we had heard. He was in and out quickly, off to investigate the source of the noise. As he pulled away from our driveway, my son asked, “Mom, is the officer here to kill me?”
At just eight years old, he was already aware of the dangers that officers can pose to individuals who look like him. Despite not watching the news, the narratives surrounding police violence permeate social media and conversations, including the critical talks many parents have with their Black children about how to navigate police encounters.
I knelt beside him, holding his hand, and assured him that the officer was there because I had called. But he didn’t seem convinced. I repeated that everything was fine, yet I couldn’t shake the feeling of uncertainty.
Are things truly okay? For me, as a white person, they generally are. However, I must prepare my children for a vastly different reality. I teach them how to interact with police, where to place their hands, and how to present themselves in public spaces. They must avoid wearing hoods or having their hands in their pockets. They must keep their hands to themselves in stores and always ask for a receipt and bag, even when it seems unnecessary.
My parenting approach involves being vigilant during outdoor playdates, especially when white children are involved. The risk of someone calling the police over innocent joy is a reality we must face. I emphasize the importance of knowing other parents well before allowing my children to visit their homes.
Despite all precautions, the color of their skin can be seen as a threat by those influenced by systemic racism. This bias often manifests unconsciously, as seen when individuals clutch their purses or preach inclusivity without genuine action.
Racism is pervasive; even in our own driveway, my children are not insulated from its impacts. I have made mistakes and spent countless sleepless nights wondering if I am doing the right thing. I rely on the wisdom of Black adults to guide me in raising my children to be confident and safe in a world that often works against them.
I refuse to sugarcoat the truth for my children; fairy tales won’t protect them from harm. While I acknowledge that some officers genuinely care and strive to do their jobs well, I must also recognize that many contribute to a system that disproportionately criminalizes Black individuals. We cannot predict how any officer we encounter will behave, but we must approach each situation with caution.
For many white children in suburban areas, the police are seen as community helpers. For my children, they represent a potential source of systemic oppression. As their mother, it is my responsibility to equip them with the skills necessary for survival.
Further Reading
For further reading on home insemination and pregnancy, you can check out this excellent resource from the NIH: NIH Pregnancy Resource. Additionally, if you’re interested in more about home insemination, consider this post: Brittany White. To learn more about self insemination, you can visit Intracervical Insemination.
Search Queries
- How to teach children about police encounters
- Raising Black children in America
- Navigating systemic racism
- Understanding white privilege
- Preparing children for public spaces
Summary
In this poignant reflection, a mother grapples with the realities of raising Black children in America, acknowledging the stark differences in how police are perceived by her and her children. Through personal experiences, she highlights the importance of preparing her kids for potential encounters with law enforcement while recognizing her own privileges as a white woman. The piece underscores the urgent need for honest conversations about race, safety, and systemic bias.