Can you do self-insemination at home ?
A few years before I embraced my identity as a gay person at the age of 39, I had an eye-opening experience during a family Thanksgiving. While waiting for the turkey to roast, I sat on the patio with some cousins, quietly listening to their conversation. One cousin brought up another family member who had come out as gay years earlier. This cousin, accompanied by his boyfriend, was referred to by certain relatives as merely having a “friend.”
When asked if he would attend our gay cousin’s potential wedding, one relative scoffed and said, “No,” followed by a dismissive snort. When pressed for his reasoning, he stated, “I believe God created man and woman to be together, and homosexuality is a sin.” As I listened, I felt a wave of anger and shame wash over me. Did he realize he was indirectly talking about me? Would my silence change anything? I gritted my teeth but remained quiet, even as my other cousin began to challenge his beliefs, arguing for love and acceptance.
In hindsight, I regret not standing up for my cousin. He shouldn’t have to navigate family gatherings where his relationship is dismissed as unworthy of acknowledgment. It’s not right, and I refuse to remain silent any longer. I will teach my children the importance of speaking up.
The Dangers of Silence
Silence breeds bigotry. When we fail to challenge harmful ideas, we allow them to thrive. Our inaction is a form of complicity. The late Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. expressed his frustration with those who prefer “order” over justice, stating that “the Negro’s great stumbling block in the stride toward freedom is not the White Citizen’s Council-er or the Ku Klux Klanner, but the white moderate who is more devoted to ‘order’ than to justice.” His words resonate across all marginalized groups. When those who care stand by in silence, they enable prejudice to persist.
We must speak out, not just for ourselves but for others. I encourage my son to challenge harmful remarks about women when he hears them. It’s crucial for all parents to expect this kind of behavior from their children. As comedian Daniel Sloss pointed out, it’s easy to think, “I’m not part of the problem; therefore, I must be part of the solution.” But that passive mindset only supports a flawed status quo.
Sloss emphasizes that if one in ten individuals is problematic and the other nine stay silent, they might as well not exist. If you witness wrongdoing within your group and remain quiet, you share in the guilt. Christians who tolerate homophobia, police officers who ignore racism, and anyone who turns a blind eye to injustice are complicit in the harm caused.
Taking Action
Speaking out is essential, but we also need to push for systemic change. Engage with your community, vote for representatives who acknowledge and address inequality, and take the time to make your voice heard through calls and emails. Let your children see you taking action. Encourage them to join you in this vital work.
If we desire a safer, more equitable world for future generations, we cannot prioritize our comfort over the rights of others. We must commit to speaking out, both individually and collectively, or else we become part of the problem.