Can you do self-insemination at home ?
There are numerous topics where my understanding is limited, often leaving me unable to engage meaningfully in discussions when they arise. Unlike some individuals who charge ahead with their lack of knowledge or try to convince others they know more than they actually do, I prefer to listen and learn. While I’m comfortable admitting my uncertainties and acknowledging my mistakes, that doesn’t mean I don’t feel a sense of discomfort as I strive to grasp certain subjects accurately.
That discomfort shouldn’t deter any of us from striving to learn and improve; I’m on a journey to better understand disability and identify my own implicit biases regarding ableism. My goal is to engage in thoughtful conversations with my children about people with disabilities and to answer their inquisitive questions. Thankfully, there are many passionate advocates and individuals with disabilities sharing their stories and educational resources, ensuring that people like me have no excuses for not expanding our knowledge.
The Importance of Language
The first step for all of us is to become comfortable with and respect the language that individuals choose to describe themselves. The terms “disabled” and “disabilities” often carry stigma. For too long, society has marginalized those who don’t fit into the conventional notion of “normal.” This exclusion extends to various groups, including those who are overweight, queer, or from BIPOC communities. I identify as queer, and over the years, I’ve faced criticism from others who think I shouldn’t use that term, perceiving it as negative. However, it represents my truth and connects me with others who share similar experiences. Rather than confronting their own biases, many expect me to change to accommodate their discomfort. This is not how allyship or respect functions when striving to uplift marginalized groups. The same principle applies to the term “disabled.”
As stated by The Inclusive Educator, “Using euphemisms to refer to disability diminishes the discrimination that disabled individuals face and the accessibility they continually strive for; your discomfort with the terms ‘disability’ or ‘disabled’ is irrelevant if you are not disabled.” This is one of the many lessons highlighted by Emily Lane, a writer, disability activist, and communications consultant, in her recent book, Understanding Disability. Lane explains that discomfort surrounding disability often leads to the use of terms like “special needs” or “differently abled,” which, upon reflection, are rather meaningless since everyone has various needs and abilities. Lane emphasizes that 15 percent of the global population is disabled, making this group the largest minority worldwide. She provides guidance on how to be more informed and thoughtful, aiming to create a more inclusive and accessible world for individuals with disabilities.
Engaging Children in Conversations
When discussing allyship, Lane asserts, “True allyship stems from meaningful action. Non-disabled parents can certainly be allies by committing to learning about disability through the work of disabled individuals and ensuring their children do the same.”
It’s essential to recognize that it’s perfectly acceptable for children to ask questions. Kids are naturally observant and curious, and adults must respond in a way that encourages positivity and understanding without silencing or shaming the disabled community. If a child points out or questions a disabled person, Lane advises adults to rephrase potentially rude questions. For instance, if a child asks, “What’s wrong with her?” it’s important to acknowledge their curiosity while guiding them to be respectful. A suitable response could be, “It looks like that person has a disability, but that doesn’t mean anything is wrong with them. It’s just part of who they are.” If your child poses a question you can’t answer, be honest about your uncertainty and suggest learning together.
Maya Greene, a writer and mother of two with a chronic condition, advises parents to acknowledge observations and take cues from the disabled individual if they are within earshot. “Often, disabled people are willing to discuss their experiences with curious children, but don’t assume or put them on the spot. It’s easy for a parent’s awkwardness to render disabled individuals invisible,” she warns. This can occur when adults avoid eye contact or interaction out of fear of making a mistake, which is not only dehumanizing but also counterproductive.
Creating Inclusive Environments
Parents shouldn’t wait for an encounter with a disabled person to reflect on the spaces they occupy and how those spaces might affect others. Ask yourself and your child whether the environment is accessible for everyone. Who is present in the room, and why? Greene reminds us that ramps can be used by anyone, while stairs benefit only some individuals. If there’s only room for one, why isn’t a ramp installed? Why is a set of stairs the default when it excludes others? Instead of perpetuating exclusion, we should strive to ensure that everyone has equal access to opportunities.
Greene recommends reading You Can’t Invite A Fish To A Dance Party by Jessica Thompson with your children. This children’s book illustrates how well-meaning pets inadvertently exclude a friend from a party because they assume what’s best for him.
Disabled individuals do not require us to speak for them or validate their feelings. They shouldn’t have to prove their worth or the impact of “well-meaning” intentions. We must listen, learn, and improve. When discomfort arises, our egos can often influence our responses. However, to be the allies we claim to be, we must embrace that discomfort to create a more welcoming world for others.
Lane reminds us, “We exist in a society that has clearly indicated that our differences should make us uncomfortable, so actively pushing against that mindset is essential.”
Further Reading and Resources
For further insights on topics related to home insemination, check out this other blog post. Additionally, if you seek authoritative information, visit this resource for a deeper understanding. For pregnancy and home insemination topics, this resource is excellent.
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In summary, it is crucial to approach discussions about disability with respect and openness. Acknowledging the language used by individuals to describe themselves, encouraging curiosity in children, and being proactive in creating inclusive environments are all significant steps toward fostering understanding and allyship.