Can you do self-insemination at home ?
Like many others, I found myself gaining weight during the quarantine period. Interestingly, I began this journey at a lower weight than usual due to various factors unrelated to dieting. As someone with polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS), managing my weight can be a real challenge. When my condition is stable, I tend to lose weight, but when it worsens, I gain. Interestingly, my experiences with pregnancy have consistently led to significant weight loss, as PCOS seems to take a backseat during that time. It’s almost as if the complexities of body weight challenge the notion that all people who are heavier just need to eat salads!
When the pandemic struck, I was lighter than I had been in years, largely due to having a newborn. This left me grappling with conflicting feelings about my weight loss. Frustratingly, a smaller size made me feel more valuable and attractive.
It’s not that I dismiss the desire to be smaller; rather, my weight naturally fluctuates with my life circumstances. I’ve worked diligently to separate my self-worth from my weight, but the struggle to maintain that perspective has been ongoing. If I allow myself to feel more beautiful when I lose weight, I’m setting myself up to feel less deserving of love and acceptance when the scales tip in the other direction. I simply cannot let my weight dictate how I appreciate my body; that path leads to heartache.
For an entire year, my family has taken every precaution to stay safe from COVID, which has kept us at home most of the time. I’ve been preoccupied with various aspects of life, and my body size has not been a primary focus. As a result, I’ve noticed changes in my weight, and I’m back to my usual size, which is heavier than last year.
Having grown up in a culture obsessed with dieting, I would be dishonest if I said I wasn’t initially disheartened watching the scale rise again. Each pound felt like a step away from the so-called “ideal” body. However, I refused to dwell in that mindset because I’ve chosen to reject that narrative.
I can wholeheartedly say that my journey toward disconnecting my body size from my inherent value has been immensely rewarding. Understanding that I carry emotional scars from childhood experiences has been crucial to my healing. Acknowledging that my body was beautiful even when others said otherwise has helped me appreciate it now, regardless of societal messages.
In the past, I mistakenly equated hunger with morality—believing that feeling hungry somehow reflected my worth as a person, especially as a woman. This harmful mindset is a reminder that hunger is simply a signal from my body that it needs nourishment, and yes, even those of us with larger bodies deserve food when hungry. The pandemic has made it easier to respond to those hunger cues, as being at home means access to food is just a few steps away.
Constant exposure to negative views about larger bodies has instilled fear in me regarding weight gain, worrying that it would label me a failure or unattractive. It’s essential to remember that my beauty and success are not contingent upon fitting an ever-changing and often unattainable ideal.
Recently, I visited my doctor for a non-weight-related issue. When the nurse called my name, I requested to skip the scale. Knowing I had gained weight since my last visit, I wanted to avoid the anxiety of discussing it. The nurse agreed.
During my appointment, my doctor asked how I was managing my anxiety, and she didn’t mention my weight at all. I started to explain my reluctance to weigh in, but she gently interrupted, saying, “Stop. Don’t explain yourself. Your weight isn’t an issue today. You don’t smoke, drink, or have high blood pressure, high cholesterol, or diabetes. You’re a busy parent of three, and you’ve been home with them for a year. If you came in with a health concern and mentioned your diet, I’d tell you to stop worrying about that. Focus on one thing at a time; losing weight can wait until life is a bit more normal.”
See? Accepting changes in your body during such an unprecedented time is not just wise—it’s what your doctor would advise.
If you’ve gained a few pounds during the pandemic, remember you are certainly not alone—and you deserve to extend yourself some grace. Embracing your body as a living, evolving entity is liberating. Your evolving shape is a testament to your resilience in the face of challenges. So what if you’ve gained weight? It’s not a reflection of weakness or failure; it’s evidence that you took care of yourself even amid a global health crisis. Many loved ones are no longer with us due to this virus, yet you are still here. If your body has changed, that’s okay. I’m grateful to acknowledge that I, too, have embraced these changes.
For more insights on this topic, check out our related blog post here. Also, for expert advice, visit intracervicalinsemination.com and learn more about pregnancy through Healthline’s excellent resource.
Search Queries:
- How to handle weight gain during quarantine
- Body positivity during a pandemic
- Coping with weight gain
- Health tips for new parents
- Understanding PCOS and weight
In summary, gaining weight during quarantine has been a learning experience about self-acceptance and the importance of not tying my self-worth to my size. It has reinforced the understanding that our bodies are dynamic and deserving of care and love, irrespective of external standards.