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My children have been begging for a “Yes Day” for a few years now. This is a special day when you agree to everything—within reason—that your kids ask for over a 24-hour period. I’ve avoided committing by asking them what they would want to do. Their dream? Unlimited screen time.
To clarify, my children are not starved for technology; we’ve had plenty of days where they spent more time gaming or watching movies than doing anything else. But a true “Yes Day” involves more than just screen time, which is part of why I’ve hesitated.
If we’re going to have a genuine day of agreement, they need to come up with suggestions for activities or places to visit. I also mentioned that we would have to establish some ground rules, but we never got around to creating an actual plan. After watching the Netflix film “Yes Day,” featuring Jennifer Garner, the idea resurfaced, and I’m now determined to actually schedule our own “Yes Day.”
“Yes Day” is inspired by the book of the same name by Amy Krouse Rosenthal. Garner, who was inspired by the book, has made it a personal tradition to give her kids a “Yes Day” once a year. She shared with Scary Mommy that her desire for joy drove her to adapt the book into a film. “I pitched it, produced it, found the writer. I wanted to do this and chose to work. I need joy as a person,” she stated. My kids and I found joy in watching the movie, and it also served as a reminder of the appreciation we often overlook in our daily lives—especially during these pandemic times.
The film contrasts life before children with life as parents. It’s much easier to agree to fun activities when it’s just you or your partner involved. Once kids enter the picture, we quickly learn that their idea of fun often comes with risky decisions from their still-developing brains. Plus, that fun usually surfaces right before bed, during homework, or when we’re busy with other tasks.
It’s not that we don’t want our kids to enjoy themselves; we’re just trying to keep them safe, which can be both tiring and terrifying. So, our instinct is often to say no. I know, sweethearts. I realize you just asked for ice cream, but my mind started racing with thoughts like, “Can we set the porch on fire?”
As we watched the movie, I recognized how frequently parents say no—something my kids could relate to, as they’ve likely seen the disappointment on their own faces when I refuse their requests. I dislike seeing that look, especially since I’m juggling my own stress, just like Garner’s character in the film. I want to embrace playfulness with my kids while they still want to engage with me. Time is fleeting; my oldest is already 10, and my twins will be eight soon. The movie was a poignant reminder to cherish their youth.
An unexpected, refreshing angle of “Yes Day” highlighted the typical dynamics in many families. Usually, one parent is the fun-loving one (often the dad) while the other is the organizer, often feeling overwhelmed (usually the mom). My children noticed this dynamic as it unfolded in the film. They initially suggested that I should be more like the “fun Dad.” Thankfully, I’m not solely responsible for parenting; my ex and I share the load. While we have different parenting styles, we both contribute equally.
The film offers kids a glimpse into the thought processes of parents, allowing them to see their own behavior reflected in the chaotic, loud, and messy world of childhood. This helped my children begin to understand the reasons behind my frequent “no” responses—not enough to prompt immediate changes, but enough for them to grasp my perspective.
I reassured them that I want to say “yes” more often and will work toward that goal because I recognize the importance of having fun, kid-driven activities in our lives. Parenting is fulfilling, and there’s nothing wrong with indulging in ice cream for dinner occasionally. We also discussed planning a “Yes Day” for the future when COVID is less of a threat.
We all agreed that saying “no” so frequently due to the pandemic has been a drag, but we are willing to wait a few more months for a well-planned day of joy.
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In summary, watching “Yes Day” with my kids served as an important reminder of the joy we can create together, highlighting the need for balance between safety and fun while reinforcing our family bonds.