One of the bewildering aspects of parenthood is the constant stream of mixed messages we receive. For instance, we hear, “Take care of yourself!” yet also, “You must breastfeed, never let your baby cry, and if you take even a moment for yourself, you’re a terrible parent.” Or consider the advice to “stop coddling your children!” paired with the fear of being reported to child protective services if you let your kids play outside unattended or walk home from school like we all did in our youth. It often feels impossible to find a balance.
School is another arena where parents face conflicting expectations, contributing to the mounting stress of modern parenting. For example, sending your sick child to school is frowned upon; you’re immediately labeled a bad parent. Pre-COVID, if you allowed your congested child or one with a tummy ache to go to school, and they subsequently developed a fever or caught the flu, you’d find yourself in the hot seat. We all understand the need to keep germs at bay, and yes, staying home when sick is essential. However…
Many school districts that strictly enforce “stay home if you’re sick” policies also impose harsh attendance requirements. A friend of mine in Texas is required to present a doctor’s note if her kids miss more than two consecutive days, or risk unexcused absences and penalties. Seriously? Children often catch viruses that linger for days, which don’t always necessitate a doctor’s visit but simply require rest and hydration. Not to mention the cost of a doctor’s appointment, which can be a burden for families with no insurance or high deductibles.
For instance, my own kids have been spared from the ear infections and strep throat that many of their peers face. They typically come down with “viruses” that don’t require antibiotics but lead to fevers, fatigue, coughs, and runny noses. After a few unnecessary trips to the doctor where we were told, “It’s just a virus—wait it out,” I learned to let them rest at home when they showed familiar symptoms. If I had been in a district with strict attendance policies, I might have been forced to drag my sick kids to a doctor visit just to secure a note for school, risking further illness exposure for everyone involved.
And let’s not forget about families with children who have chronic illnesses. The stress of navigating strict attendance policies adds another layer of complexity to their already challenging lives. These families face exhausting logistical and financial hurdles, and they shouldn’t also have to worry about school penalties while trying to help their children recover.
Moreover, the conversation around mental health is finally gaining traction. It’s recognized that mental health is just as critical as physical health, and the two are deeply interconnected. Workplaces have begun to recognize the importance of mental health days. The pandemic has highlighted the significance of mental well-being in children, revealing that they are not immune to anxiety, depression, and other issues.
Despite this awareness, rigid attendance policies and attendance awards remain prevalent in schools. What exactly are these awards celebrating? Good health? Attending school while sick? Families with reliable transportation? What do these awards say to those children who cannot attend school regularly due to circumstances beyond their control, such as illness or difficult home environments?
It’s important for children to see their peers achieve in various areas—math competitions, spelling bees, science fairs. But attendance awards do not reflect hard work or merit; they promote a culture that rewards fortunate circumstances. This creates an environment where children feel guilty for taking necessary days off, whether due to illness or mental health needs.
The push to always show up, no matter the cost, sets a dangerous precedent. It fosters a culture of overwork that follows children into adulthood. It instills a fear of taking time off for health reasons or family issues, making self-care seem unattainable.
Instead of rewarding perfect attendance, schools should recognize efforts to promote well-being among students. We should celebrate those institutions that encourage taking necessary time off to care for mental health, physical health, or family needs—just as we should encourage workplaces to do the same.
It’s time to rethink attendance awards and adjust attendance policies for the benefit of all children. Their future well-being depends on it. For more insights on this topic, check out this related post on home insemination, which discusses family planning and well-being. Also, visit Intracervical Insemination for expert information on related matters, and consider Progyny for additional resources on pregnancy and family health.
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- Benefits of mental health days for students
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In summary, it’s crucial to eliminate attendance awards and rethink rigid attendance policies to better support children’s health—both mental and physical. We must foster a culture that prioritizes well-being, allowing children the freedom to take care of themselves without the pressure of awards or penalties.