On February 26, 2020, at precisely 6:30 pm, my daughter entered the world, weighing 8 lbs 10 oz and measuring 22 inches long. She marked the end of our infertility saga, following a successful IVF frozen transfer. Growing up as one of five children raised by a single father, my struggles with infertility only intensified my longing for motherhood.
The nine months leading up to Emily’s arrival were a whirlwind of emotions. I can still recall the intense moment during our induction when our doctor hurriedly untangled the umbilical cord from around Emily’s neck, inadvertently fracturing her clavicle. The delivery room was engulfed in silence before my heart soared as I heard her first cry, and I could see the relief in my husband’s eyes.
After a brief hospital stay, we returned home, filled with gratitude and a sense of relief. However, this bliss was short-lived as Minnesota instituted its first stay-at-home order. Suddenly, we found ourselves in a new reality, grappling with the sorrow of not being able to introduce Emily to family and friends. Our days turned into a cycle of disinfecting groceries and sharing our anxieties, while I became captivated by Emily, overwhelmed by both joy and fear of the unknown.
Each morning, I anxiously tuned into updates from Andrew Cuomo on COVID-19, and during late-night feedings, I even caught Chris Cuomo’s broadcasts from his basement. I found myself glued to Minnesota’s daily health briefings, celebrating when case numbers stabilized and feeling disheartened during surges.
Tears streamed down my face when my pediatrician reassured me in early May that “COVID hasn’t hindered Emily” after I expressed worries about her social development due to her lack of outings. I was emotional in the car after that appointment, realizing that we were only at the beginning of this pandemic journey. I felt guilty mourning my maternity leave despite being fortunate enough to have paid time off, and I often battled feelings of fear and isolation as a first-time mom navigating this unprecedented situation.
It’s clear that COVID overshadowed my first year of parenting, but I’ve gradually come to terms with it. I am grateful to have a healthy baby, and as my maternity leave comes to an end, I feel a sense of tranquility having faced challenges I never expected. Though our friends and family haven’t held Emily close yet, they will come to know and love her just as they love me.
The path to welcoming Emily was fraught with uncertainty, but I reflect on our infertility journey with gratitude for the support and love we received. I believe our first year as parents mirrors that experience—filled with different challenges and pains, yet abundant in love and hope. For more insights on family building, you can check out this excellent resource.
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In summary, my experience of becoming a mother during a pandemic has been a mix of joy, fear, and profound love. It has taught me resilience and the value of hope amidst uncertainty.