I realized I had a problem when I began treating meditation as just another task on my to-do list. After hearing rave reviews from friends about apps like Calm and Headspace, I decided to try meditation during the tumultuous year of 2020, hoping to regain my lost sense of balance amidst a whirlwind of household chores, Zoom calls with my kids, my work commitments, and the persistent reminders from our cat that his food bowl was empty again. However, as a soothing voice guided me to breathe and let my thoughts drift, I found myself mentally planning dinner, contemplating my next Netflix binge, and keeping an ear out for any squabbles or injuries between my kids. When the session concluded, I simply checked “Meditate” off my mental list, feeling no more centered than before.
It’s a common stereotype that moms are perpetually tired, yet I truly was. I often felt tired and content, occasionally tired and stressed, but tiredness was the constant theme. When you have a newborn, it’s easy to blame fatigue on sleepless nights, but my kids are good sleepers and capable of managing several daily tasks independently. The level of exhaustion I felt at the end of each day didn’t add up.
Then it dawned on me: perhaps my fatigue stemmed from my constant multitasking. I frequently found my body engaged in one task while my mind darted between various others. Even when I was focused on something like answering emails, I was flitting between messages from work, my kids’ school, friends, and persistent political organizations. It’s no surprise that by the time evening rolled around, I was completely drained.
Recently, I decided to make a change and embrace “single-tasking.” This approach involves choosing one task and dedicating my full attention to it until it’s complete—something I recall doing easily before parenthood. For example, when responding to work emails, I focused solely on those messages, ignoring everything else. More importantly, when spending time with my kids, I aimed to be fully present instead of worrying about what needed to happen next.
Of course, as a parent, it’s not feasible to single-task all the time. Many of my attempts get interrupted. Yet, each time I manage to focus on one thing, I notice that I complete tasks more efficiently and effectively. When that task is quality time with my children or my partner, we all feel happier and more relaxed. Physically, I also find myself less fatigued. Although I’m not completely free of tiredness, single-tasking serves as a refreshing break for my mind.
Sometimes, we mothers take pride in our multitasking abilities, and rightly so, as the female brain is incredibly capable. However, there’s a fine line between effective multitasking and burnout. I came close to crossing that line this past year, but I’m now moving in the right direction, one task at a time—and one moment of focus at a time.
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In summary, I discovered that embracing single-tasking helped alleviate my constant fatigue. By focusing on one task at a time, whether it’s work or quality moments with my family, I can be more productive and present, ultimately leading to a happier and less exhausted version of myself.