Throughout my first pregnancy, I had a clear vision of what motherhood would look like. I imagined myself as a fun mom, effortlessly carrying my baby in a carrier while enjoying coffee shops and festivals with my partner. I thought I would hit the gym regularly and that breastfeeding would come naturally. I was completely convinced that I had it all figured out.
Oh, how wrong I was. Everything turned out differently than I expected. We stopped going out because it became overwhelmingly stressful for me. It took years before I returned to the gym. And breastfeeding? It was a struggle. It hurt, my baby wouldn’t latch, and I found myself in tears every day for the first six weeks.
In hindsight, I don’t regret pushing through those tough times. Eventually, we figured it out, and I went on to breastfeed my other two children with much more ease. However, that initial experience opened my eyes to the challenges many mothers face, whether they choose to breastfeed or not. I now firmly believe in the philosophy that “fed is best.” No mother should feel obligated to breastfeed, nor should she have to justify her choices regarding how she feeds her child.
While I did find breastfeeding rewarding in the end—especially since it was free—that isn’t the reality for many women. It can be painful, exhausting, and even impact our mental health, leaving lasting changes to our bodies.
Breastfeeding is no small feat, and all mothers—regardless of how they choose to feed their children—deserve support, not judgment.
Confessions from Other Mothers
- “Breastfeeding my third child is excruciating. I often scream and cry in pain. I never had issues with my previous two kids, so this is overwhelming.”
- “Breastfeeding hurts like crazy. I wanted to go for a year, but after three and a half months, I just want my breasts to be left alone!”
- “I’m struggling with clogged ducts while relying on pumping for breastfeeding. I’ve tried everything, and I’m exhausted and in pain.”
The most frustrating comment I heard while trying to figure out breastfeeding was, “If it hurts, you’re doing it wrong.” Seriously? It hurts because a tiny human is gnawing on me all day and night. Can we just acknowledge that breastfeeding can indeed be painful, even if you’re doing everything “right”?
After two kids and over 30 months of breastfeeding, my body has changed dramatically. At just 27, I find my breasts have lost their firmness and shape. I wear C cup silicone inserts to feel somewhat normal again. It can be disheartening and even make a woman feel less feminine.
It also changes our bodies, and our vaginas may feel like a desert. But honestly, we’re so exhausted that we often don’t even care. I grapple with the guilt of wanting to stop breastfeeding my nine-month-old. He’s my second and last child, and part of me feels he should get the same year of breastfeeding as his sister.
It’s evident that breastfeeding can contribute to postpartum depression and anxiety. I finally stopped and breathed a sigh of relief—both my baby and I are much happier now.
If I could turn back time, I wouldn’t have stressed so much about breastfeeding my colicky baby due to societal pressure. We could have both enjoyed those early months much more, and it really wasn’t anyone else’s business.
Breastfeeding can be a struggle, especially if there are complications like low supply, recovery from a c-section, or other challenges. This all impacts a mom’s mental health and should be prioritized, even if it means stopping breastfeeding. Moms need support throughout their journey—whether they’re starting, continuing, or deciding to quit.
It’s no wonder that mothers are utterly exhausted. The demands of breastfeeding can elevate fatigue to a whole new level—mentally and physically. We need to bring awareness to breastfeeding misinformation. Yes, you can have a glass of wine! Yes, you can eat what you want! We need stronger and more accessible support systems.
Breastfeeding knocked me off my feet when I became a new mom. It was one of the hardest experiences I encountered. Thankfully, I had a supportive partner who reassured me when I decided to supplement with formula to make sure my baby was satisfied.
Prioritize Yourself
To all mothers out there, prioritize yourself. If breastfeeding is your choice, seek out help, resources, and support—feed your baby wherever and whenever you want. If your path doesn’t involve breastfeeding, whether by choice or necessity, you are still a great mom as long as your baby is loved and fed.
Nearly 13 years into this journey, I stand by two essential truths of motherhood:
- Fed is best.
- Mom’s health matters.
For more insights, check out this post or visit this excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination. If you want to learn more about pregnancy-related topics, check out this link.
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In summary, breastfeeding can be a daunting journey filled with challenges and emotional highs and lows. It’s essential to support mothers, regardless of their feeding choices, and to ensure that they are taking care of their own well-being throughout the process.