Congratulations, new dads! Or, if your experience mirrors mine, I sympathize with you. In a month, my son will turn two, and he is, by all accounts, a lovely toddler. However, I can’t discuss him without mentioning this: he was an incredibly challenging infant. His initial months—what they call the fourth trimester—were exhausting, tested my marriage, and drained our finances. Instead of the magical bonding time I had envisioned, it was, without a doubt, the toughest four months of my life.
At the park, strangers will often comment, “What a cute kid!” and I can’t help but respond, “Thanks! He was an incredibly difficult baby!” This usually prompts a detailed, unsolicited recounting of my experiences. Three minutes later, they find an excuse to whisk their own child away.
Colic: My Experience with My Son
Like most newborns, Lucas spent his first few days mostly asleep, likely due to the abrupt transition from the feeding tube of the womb to the outside world. My wife and I thought we had it under control. Then, Day 4 hit, and chaos ensued.
Later on, we joked that we had two versions of our son: Lucas 2.0, the cheerful, social toddler, and Lucas 1.0, the colicky, nocturnal bundle of anguish. Lucas 1.0, whom we affectionately called “Hurricane Lucas,” cried incessantly from February to May of 2018.
Newborns essentially have three roles: eating, sleeping, and eliminating (yes, that means pooping and peeing). From the beginning, Lucas struggled with all three. Breastfeeding was a nightmare. He couldn’t latch properly, and the lactation tips my wife received seemed to suggest that if she didn’t have perfect, tiny nipples, our son would starve or worse—have to drink formula. Plus, the advice included pumping for 23 hours a day, which could lead to painful mastitis.
Lucas managed to pee and poop just fine, but his digestive system seemed determined to make him miserable. After feedings, he would writhe in pain for forty to fifty minutes, arching his back and grimacing. As for sleep, a good night meant a three-hour stretch followed by a couple of hours, after which I would need eleven cups of coffee and endure months of marital tension. On the worst nights, neither of us slept longer than thirty minutes.
The crying was the worst. Not your typical baby wailing—this was a high-pitched, frantic sound that could occur at any hour. It was like trying to soothe a cat being shaved (not that I would know). And it was utterly unsoothable.
Colic is often described by the Rule of 3: three or more hours of crying, three or more days per week, for three or more weeks. For Lucas, it felt more like a Rule of 7.
Coping with Colic: What Didn’t Work
- Fancy swaddles
- Gripe water
- Dietary changes (my wife tried cutting dairy)
- Rocking chairs
- Bouncy seats
- Swinging chairs
- Musical chairs that rocked and bounced but only amplified the crying
- Unsolicited advice from well-meaning individuals
The only thing that brought Lucas any temporary relief was the “Five S’s”: swaddling, holding him on his side, swinging him vigorously, shushing, and giving him a pacifier. I spent countless hours in this routine, with the NBA playoffs droning in the background, bouncing him until he calmed down. The moment I sat down, he would start fussing again, escalating to full-blown cries.
My wife, always the diligent researcher, tried every conceivable product for colic relief. Gripe water just left sticky residue everywhere. A rocking bassinet was soon discarded after a recall for safety issues. By spring, our home was cluttered with baby slings, parenting books, and giant motorized swings—none of which helped.
We tried everything we could think of to ease Lucas’s suffering. I dove into research on colic, and my wife adjusted her diet. We even hired a night nurse and rented a Snoo (a fancy bassinet that rocks your baby to sleep, costing more than our mortgage). Nothing worked.
Coping with Colic: What Actually Helped
The one technique that calmed Lucas was putting him in a carrier and taking him for walks. Unfortunately, he was born in February in Minneapolis, where “outside” felt like the surface of Mars. My solution? I wore him against my chest and walked on the treadmill for hours while studying GRE vocabulary on my phone.
Ultimately, nothing else we tried made a dent in his crying (though we neglected to try probiotics, which actually do have some scientific backing). I learned that parenting a colicky baby isn’t like mastering a skill—it’s a trial to endure.
Accepting help made the experience slightly more bearable. We were lucky to have family members visit us during those challenging months. While their stays were often too short, they were invaluable. Handing Lucas over to a well-rested family member for a nap or meal allowed me to recharge, even if it didn’t ease his crying.
Gaining perspective also helped. Part of the struggle with colic was the uncertainty of when it would end. Connecting with other parents and reading similar stories reminded me that colic doesn’t last forever and doesn’t dictate my child’s future. Although our motto for the post-colic phase is #neverforget, my wife and I found comfort in the fact that Lucas wouldn’t remember any of it.
In the end, time was the only true remedy for colic. By four months, his crying began to wane, and by five months, colic was merely a memory.
It Gets Better!
If you’re a dad grappling with a colicky baby, take heart—it does get better. Colic isn’t permanent, nor does it imply any lasting temperament issues; it’s often just an overactive digestive system. Recognizing this won’t ease your sleepless nights, but knowing there’s a finish line can provide the motivation to keep moving forward.
Now, when I look at Lucas, it’s hard to believe he’s the same child who pushed me to my limits. As those strangers at the park can attest, I may never forget how tough those early months were, but they have made me infinitely more appreciative of the amazing kid he is today.
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In summary, my experience with my son’s colic was fraught with challenges. While many remedies failed, time and a few effective techniques ultimately helped. It’s a tough journey, but knowing it gets better can provide hope to new parents facing similar trials.