Stay in a group. Request a security guard to escort you to your vehicle. Choose a well-lit parking spot. Opt for main roads with plenty of foot traffic. If you spot someone while alone, cross to the other side of the street. Hold your keys between your fingers for potential defense. Take a self-defense course to understand the vulnerable spots—eyes, neck, groin. Always check under your car and in the backseat before getting in. Avoid running with headphones so you can be aware of your surroundings. Wear bright clothing for visibility, but dress conservatively to avoid unwanted attention. If you feel uneasy, shout, run, and make noise. Fight vigorously—kicking, biting, and screaming—to escape any potential attacker. Don’t allow yourself to be cornered.
This extensive list represents what young women are advised from the moment they start venturing out. We engrain these rules into our minds during high school and college, reciting them to ourselves as we navigate dark parking garages well into our 30s, 40s, and beyond. The threat of attack looms over us regardless of age, location, attire, or perceived safety of the neighborhood. We are conditioned to be vigilant, always aware that the responsibility lies with us to prevent assault or worse. Yet, tragically, even when we adhere to these precautions—donning bright clothing, walking in well-lit areas, ensuring we’re home at a reasonable hour—horrific outcomes can still occur, as exemplified by the unfortunate fate of Sarah Everard.
Her shocking and senseless death has resonated deeply across the U.K. and beyond for this very reason. A young woman brutally murdered while doing everything “right”—except for being out alone at night. Yet, even that will invariably be framed as her fault, as it typically is for women who engage in the same ordinary activities that men undertake without a second thought: jogging solo, walking to their cars alone, being out late, or returning home from a friend’s place.
We convince ourselves it’s okay. We have the right to walk home without fear of being killed. We shouldn’t need to travel in groups or prepare ourselves mentally and physically to defend our lives. Perhaps that was Sarah Everard’s mindset on the evening of March 3, but we will never truly know.
However, perhaps this tragic loss will spark change. Maybe the discussion will pivot from the endless list of precautions women should adopt to a focus on who is truly responsible for this violence. It’s time to hold men accountable and emphasize the need to raise boys who understand that women are not obligated to reciprocate their advances. Boys who learn that women have the right to reject, even ignore, men without facing violent consequences.
For now, though, the narrative remains fixated on Sarah. On her being alone, out late, and the decisions that led to her untimely demise. Women across the globe think of her because we have all been in her shoes. We have all walked home alone at some point. We have all felt anxiety, clutching our keys, hurrying to our cars while sending a “be there in 10” text as a precaution in case we don’t arrive.
We walk alongside Sarah, for we are all Sarah—a 33-year-old woman returning home from a friend’s house, who did not deserve to die. Despite our efforts to ensure our safety and our reassurances of “everything will be fine,” the grim reality is that femicide—the killing of women by men—is on the rise. As such, our protective measures will only continue to expand.
Last November, the Femicide Census revealed that between 2009 and 2018, 1,425 women were killed in the U.K., averaging one every three days. According to The Guardian, “In spite of better legislation, training, and knowledge, the horrendous toll of fatal violence against women has remained unchanged for a decade. We have yet to learn the full impact of the pandemic.” Notably, while Sarah Everard’s death was deeply tragic, the demographic most at risk includes Black and trans women.
As we remember Sarah, we must also acknowledge the names of individuals like Mia Johnson, Tasha “Lynne” Carter, and Rachel Edwards, among many others. These are the names of Black trans women who have tragically lost their lives this year. Disturbingly, 2021 is on pace to be the deadliest year on record for Black trans women. In 2020, there were 45 documented killings, but the reality is that the actual numbers are likely much higher due to unreported incidents and instances of misgendering.
The rate of violence against Black trans women is alarmingly high, with some experts describing it as “a pandemic within a pandemic.” The Human Rights Campaign has noted that “fatal violence disproportionately affects transgender women of color—particularly Black transgender women—and that the intersections of racism, sexism, homophobia, biphobia, transphobia, and unchecked access to firearms conspire to deprive them of essential resources like employment, housing, and healthcare.”
Yet, the focus remains on women’s behavior, attire, alcohol consumption, and perceived risky choices like walking alone at night. Why is the responsibility placed on women? Why is it women’s duty to avoid being murdered? The real issue lies in society’s obsession with controlling women, coupled with men’s inability to accept rejection and their misguided belief that women owe them attention.
Sarah Everard committed no offense. She did not deserve to die. The same holds true for Mia Johnson, Tasha “Lynne” Carter, Rachel Edwards, and countless others. These women were murdered simply for existing or crossing paths with men who felt the need to exert their dominance, driven by insecurities and a lust for power.
This is the conversation we need: not “What can women do to stay safe?” but rather “What can society do to cultivate respect for women’s autonomy?” and “How can we dismantle transphobia and racism?” Until we address these questions, no amount of safety measures will protect women simply walking home.
For more insight on this topic, check out this link, which delves into related discussions. Additionally, for a more authoritative perspective, visit this resource on women’s safety and rights. An excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination can be found at this link.
Search Queries:
- home insemination kit
- self insemination
- home insemination syringe
- intrauterine insemination
- fertility options
In summary, Sarah Everard’s tragic death highlights a broader societal issue where women are often held responsible for their safety. The focus should shift to changing the culture that perpetuates violence against women and marginalized communities, including Black and trans women. Until we confront these deep-rooted issues, the cycle of violence will continue.