Whenever I, or another writer from the LGBTQIA+ community, attempt to clarify a term or concept related to our identities, I often encounter comments from individuals who aren’t part of our community. These remarks typically include sentiments like: “Why must everything be labeled? Just be yourself!” or they come off as dismissive: “Stop making such a fuss. No one cares!”
Some individuals express fatigue or confusion regarding others’ identities, opting for ignorance rather than taking the time to read the informative articles provided. This approach doesn’t work. I respect your name, pronouns, and identity, and in return, I expect the same consideration. While I may not relate to being straight or a fan of a specific sports team, I can still appreciate your choice of descriptors because they don’t alter who I am. Here’s why identities and labels are essential, especially for those of us who don’t fit into the typical heteronormative framework.
Many individuals outside of the traditional binary seek language that helps them recognize themselves in society. I don’t identify as straight or cisgender, but those are the default terms assigned at birth (remember those gender reveal parties?). For many, like myself, those labels are incorrect, leading us to “fix” what’s been misrepresented. This is why people come out and embrace labels. Yes, I am a human being, but I’m not merely an assumption; I use words that instill pride and self-acceptance in me. As someone who is queer and nonbinary, my labels foster community and solidarity. They serve as a rebellion against societal norms and expectations.
I wear pronoun pins and rainbow flags not just for representation, but also to clarify my identity—a role often thrust upon those of us who are seen as different. This can be draining. If you genuinely want to be an ally, rather than feigning ignorance, take the time to research unfamiliar terms. Or better yet, read the article before dismissing someone’s identity as invalid.
Labels are personal and can be fluid, which is beautiful. No one owes you an explanation for their identity. My labels help me connect with others who share my nonbinary identity, allowing us to exchange experiences and guidance in a world that often denies us an accurate box to check. Labels help us feel acknowledged. As language evolves, new terms emerge that help individuals better understand themselves. For me, discovering the term “nonbinary” gave me a sense of belonging that I desperately needed.
Those of us on the margins of the LGBTQIA+ spectrum face more than just ignorant comments online; we confront real discrimination, hate, and abuse. When seeking safety and acceptance, we look for institutions that actively support LGBTQIA+ individuals. Equity and social justice efforts exist to uplift those of us who have chosen identities that do not conform to societal norms regarding gender and sexuality.
Having been a part of the queer community since childhood, I understand the terms that exist beyond the traditional narrative. However, I do not represent all queer or nonbinary individuals, nor can I claim to know the unique significance of each label for every person who identifies with it. I can explain what it means to be asexual, but if an asexual person shares a different interpretation, I listen. That’s the least we can all do—shut up and listen.
When you insist that “people are just people” and advocate for a “live and let live” philosophy, it reveals your privilege and lack of understanding. Your biases, whether conscious or not, can be harmful. Denying someone the opportunity to express their identity is to deny their right to live authentically. Ironically, many who claim there are “too many labels” are the same ones who react negatively when misgendered or incorrectly assumed to be part of the LGBTQIA+ community. If we’re all just people, then why does it matter if someone mislabels you, right?
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In summary, the importance of labels and identities lies in their ability to provide visibility and community for those who feel marginalized. Rather than dismissing these terms, it is essential to understand and respect the language that individuals use to describe themselves.