With the ongoing pandemic, I’ve spent nearly every moment of the past year with my children. I hear “mom” so often it feels like a constant chorus, and there’s hardly a moment when I’m not surrounded by little bodies. By the end of the day, my ears buzz from the relentless noise. I feel completely drained and overwhelmed. Yet, without fail, I always make it a priority to kiss all four of my kids goodnight. To be honest, it’s more for my benefit than theirs.
I’ve never claimed to be the ideal mother. I frequently lose my temper with my kids. Managing life at home 24/7—working remotely, overseeing virtual schooling, and preparing meal after meal—has been particularly tough. My patience is stretched thin, and there have been many instances where I’ve snapped. To be frank, some days, I’m just trying to survive until bedtime.
However, when it’s time for bed, I view it as my moment to reset from the day’s chaos. It’s my opportunity to express, “Regardless of everything, I still love you.” Bedtime is a chance for genuine connection with my kids that often gets lost in daily life.
When I can be fully present, bedtime becomes one of the highlights of my day. The house quiets down, devices are set aside, and each child gets my undivided attention, even if just for a fleeting moment. I can offer back rubs, read stories, or listen to their favorite songs. Often, these are the moments when meaningful conversations unfold; my kids share thoughts without me needing to pry.
Each of my children is at a different stage in life, making bedtime special for various reasons. My youngest is my baby, and I cherish every cuddle and “I wuv you.” With my daughter, it’s our special time to bond over princess stories and discuss things she wouldn’t mention in front of her brothers.
Although my tween and teenager don’t require help getting ready for bed, they still crave that time with me. I know my days of cuddling with my tween are limited. He’s at that in-between age where he still seeks affection but is also growing up fast. My teenager, on the other hand, often acts like I’m the worst, but bedtime is typically when he reciprocates my affection with a heartfelt “I love you” instead of an eye-roll.
Of course, there are nights when I feel completely spent and just want the day to end. My kids can be overwhelming, and I often wish they would just fall asleep. Sometimes, that one last flip on the bed can push me over the edge, especially after a long day of being patient.
Despite moments of frustration or impatience, bedtime allows me to reassure my children of my love. I want them to know that, even when I’m upset, I still care deeply for them. If they’re upset with me or reluctant to share a kiss, that’s fine too; I will always be there to show them affection, no matter what.
There are nights when I crawl into bed feeling regretful, replaying my actions and choices throughout the day. I remind myself that perfection isn’t the goal; that standard is unrealistic. The reason I prioritize kissing my kids goodnight is that it provides a sense of accomplishment in my role as a mother. No matter how the day unfolded, taking the time to kiss them goodnight reassures me that I’m doing something right.
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In summary, while parenting can be incredibly challenging, especially during difficult times, the act of kissing my children goodnight provides a moment of connection and reassurance, reminding both them and me that love prevails despite the chaos of daily life.