You might be unfamiliar with the term “stresslaxing.” Until recently, I was too. This vague, coined phrase describes a phenomenon that many can relate to: the stress that arises from attempting to relax. Essentially, it suggests that downtime can amplify anxiety rather than alleviate it.
According to Urban Dictionary, stresslaxing is “being so stressed that relaxing makes you more stressed because you’re not working on what’s making you stressed.” It creates a frustrating cycle. While the term may be new, the concept is well-researched. A study published in the December 2018 edition of the Journal of Affective Disorders indicated that for some individuals, relaxation can exacerbate their fears and insecurities, leading to heightened anxiety and discomfort. The study revealed that those with generalized anxiety disorder were particularly sensitive to emotional shifts, often feeling increased anxiety when engaging in relaxation techniques. Hanjoo Kim, a graduate student at Penn State University and co-author of the study, noted that individuals prone to relaxation-induced anxiety frequently have anxiety disorders, a description that resonates with me.
As someone who has dealt with panic disorder and anxiety for years, I understand the need for self-care and breaks. However, when I try to slow down, my mind races. My mood fluctuates, emotions intensify, and I spiral into panic. The stillness feels unsettling, and the silence can be maddening.
During moments of attempted relaxation, I find myself fretting over unfinished chores. Dishes pile up, laundry remains unfolded, and looming deadlines cast a shadow over my peace of mind. This state of stress leaves me agitated and restless, often manifesting in physical symptoms like tremors. My internal dialogue grows louder, reminding me of my perceived inadequacies and past mistakes. Traditional meditation has proven difficult for me; the very act of focusing on my breath heightens my anxiety, leaving me gasping for air.
I’m not alone in experiencing “stresslaxing.” Take, for example, Sarah Thompson, a Midwest mother of two, who shares, “The thought of meditation makes me irritable. It feels inaccessible. My version of relaxation looks different; my unique movements might not signify stress to others, but they do to me.” Similarly, Mia Roberts expressed her discomfort, saying, “Meditation makes me feel like I’m crawling out of my skin. I can’t sit still.” Others, like Kendra Lane, struggle with the inability to find stillness, pacing in circles instead of sitting down.
Interestingly, it seems that “stresslaxing” disproportionately affects women or those who identify as female. An informal survey highlighted a common theme: guilt associated with taking time for oneself. “I don’t experience anxiety myself,” notes Lila Adams, “but when I sit down to relax, I feel guilty. I should be busy doing something, whether it’s cleaning or organizing.” Kendra echoed this sentiment, stating, “Relaxing fills me with guilt, which in turn heightens my anxiety and worsens my OCD. It leads to a terrible cycle of exhaustion.”
The positive takeaway is that there are alternative methods to unwind that don’t involve the traditional idea of relaxation. Activities like walking can serve both as exercise and a purposeful task, whether you’re headed to a store or a park. Cooking, especially baking, can be a satisfying and active way to de-stress. Crafting can also offer a therapeutic outlet, particularly when creating something meaningful for others. It’s essential to choose activities that resonate with you personally, rather than those society dictates as relaxing. After all, “stresslaxing” doesn’t provide genuine relaxation, and it’s time to reclaim our peace. We all deserve a chance to calm our hearts and soothe our minds.
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Summary:
The concept of “stresslaxing,” where attempts to relax lead to increased anxiety, is explored through personal experiences and research. Many individuals, particularly women, struggle with guilt when they take time to unwind, leading to a cycle of stress and discomfort. Alternative, more active forms of relaxation, such as walking or crafting, are suggested as healthier options for achieving peace of mind.
