I’ll never forget the intense pressure that accompanied my journey into motherhood. Fellow parents seemed convinced that educational toys, specialized videos, and custom board books would transform our little ones into prodigies. Bragging was rampant. Did your newly fourteen-month-old manage to count to five in Spanish? Was your child able to identify shapes, letters, days of the week, or even months? And what about honor rolls for kindergartners?
Reality check: Babies just want to play. Their primary tasks should involve exploration, eating, sleeping, and the occasional tantrum. However, we felt compelled to ensure our kids were the best, often boasting about their achievements. With each passing year and more children, I came to understand that parenting is not centered around us. Our children don’t benefit from our bragging or from denigrating other kids. In truth, it often makes us appear rather self-centered.
It’s important to celebrate our children’s accomplishments—but let’s not turn their achievements into a competition to satisfy our own egos. When we pressure our kids to perform, we risk teaching them that their worth is tied to our fleeting satisfaction.
Every parent can nurture and support their child, but this doesn’t guarantee that their kids will outshine their peers. Many children have special needs or simply develop differently. As I listened to new moms at the park boast about their toddlers, I couldn’t help but think of the mother quietly pushing her non-verbal child in an adaptive swing. Where is her place in this competition?
Having the “best” kids often stems from privilege. Some parents can afford extracurricular activities that help their children excel, while others struggle for basic educational resources. The reality is that those with financial resources can provide opportunities that many families simply cannot. This imbalance is a significant part of the bragging culture.
Parents of children with special needs often face an uphill battle just to secure appropriate educational support. We find ourselves in meetings advocating for our children’s rights and fighting for essential services.
While most parents love their children deeply, when they flaunt their kids’ successes as a reflection of their own parenting skills, it implies that they possess some unique ability that others lack. This mindset can be both rude and counterproductive.
The ableist attitudes that are often revealed through parental bragging are troubling. It implies that other parents simply need to work harder or set more goals. But we know that many children who excel do so because of economic advantages, not just parental effort.
We embrace our children for who they are, regardless of their pace of development. Whether they require extra assistance or simply have their own unique qualities, we are committed to supporting them without engaging in the competitive bragging that serves more as self-promotion than genuine pride.
Looking back, I wish I could tell my younger self that the timing of my child’s milestones is irrelevant. It doesn’t diminish my worth as a mom if my baby isn’t crawling at the same time as others, or if another child sleeps through the night while mine does not.
In the end, parental bragging is fruitless. It serves only to inflate some parents’ self-esteem while causing resentment and jealousy in others. Our children’s growth should not be a reflection of us. We can celebrate their achievements authentically without making it about ourselves.
For more insights on parenting and family life, check out one of our other posts here. And if you’re looking for expert information on pregnancy, visit the CDC. For more in-depth knowledge on home insemination, check out this source.
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Summary:
This article discusses the negative implications of parental bragging and the competition surrounding children’s achievements. It highlights the importance of embracing children’s individuality and supporting their development without comparing them to others. The piece calls for a shift in focus from parental pride to genuine celebration of children’s unique journeys.