On Saturday mornings, I take my 13-year-old son, Alex, for sodas and then drive around our small town in Oregon playing Pokémon Go. At this age, he shows little interest in most of my suggestions, but this particular outing gets him to dash down the stairs and jump into the car at 7 a.m. I know some of you might wonder why so early, but as an early riser, this time is just for Alex and me, without the distraction of his younger siblings. We’re usually back before anyone else is awake.
I can’t pinpoint exactly how this tradition began. One morning, we both happened to be awake, and I suggested doing something together. Now, his enthusiasm every Saturday morning has become the highlight of my week. More importantly, these moments have allowed us to discuss life and the challenges of the pandemic, creating a vital connection during these tough times.
A couple of weeks ago, while driving to a Pokémon raid in search of a shiny Pokémon, Alex was, as usual, speaking in a language I often find perplexing. I nodded along, following his directions, which has become typical for our excursions. Honestly, I don’t fully grasp the game, but I’m learning. While Alex is motivated by the Pokémon, I’m there for the conversation. Amidst the game chatter, he opened up about online school and how much he misses his classmates. He also shared his fears from when his mother was hospitalized with a severe infection last October, and how strange it felt to celebrate Halloween without her. I listened, asked a few questions, and validated his feelings regarding the past year.
As we headed home, I thought the morning had been quite ordinary, just another Pokémon hunt. Then Alex turned to me and said, “Thanks for listening.” The dim light of dawn illuminated his face, and I noticed his eyes were glistening, on the verge of tears. In that moment, it hit me that the past year had been much tougher on him than I had understood. Between transitioning to online school, the fear of losing his mother, and the general stress of a pandemic, he had been through a lot. That drive for Pokémon was more than just a game; it provided a safe space for him to communicate with me.
Once we parked at home, I embraced him tightly. “I’m always here if you need to talk.” He nodded, gave me a small smile, wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his hoodie, and walked inside. I remained in the van for a moment, realizing how crucial it was for me to be present for him.
Not every outing is as profound; sometimes we drive around without much conversation. Yet, the key is that we are together, and he has the chance to open up. These Saturday mornings have created a space for him to express his feelings about a challenging year. As a teenager navigating a pandemic, it’s essential to acknowledge their struggles.
For all the parents out there raising teenagers during these difficult times, my advice is to find ways to spend time with them. Whether it’s grabbing ice cream, going for a walk, or simply enjoying a drive with music, these moments matter. I got lucky with the Pokémon Go idea, but if you can carve out time to connect, you may discover that your child needs your support now more than ever.
They might not always share as openly as Alex did, but offering them the opportunity to talk in a relaxed setting is crucial. This past year has been hard on everyone, and teenagers are no exception.
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Summary
Building connections with teenagers during the pandemic is crucial. Engaging in shared activities, like gaming or outings, can create opportunities for open dialogue. Parents should prioritize spending time with their teens, even if conversations aren’t always deep. The pandemic has been challenging for everyone, including teenagers, and providing them with a space to communicate is essential.