I started my teaching career at the age of 22. Education has always been my passion, and I’ve dedicated countless hours to this field both personally and professionally. Taking a break from a career I love is a tough choice, fraught with mental, emotional, and financial implications.
Many parents express that their children can be challenging, often lamenting their loss of freedom and the chaos of tantrums, poor grades, and untidy rooms. I can relate. We all have different thresholds when it comes to parenting—some lower than others. Perhaps my limits are set too low or my expectations too high; all I know is that I’m doing my best with the resources I have.
Once again, I’ve made the hard choice to step back from my teaching position to better support my kids and their emotional needs. This isn’t the first time I’ve done this, nor will it likely be the last, but it never gets easier.
Raising a daughter with learning disabilities and social challenges is hard. Add to that a second daughter who is highly empathetic and sensitive; the contrast between them is striking. They don’t quite understand each other, which can lead to sibling conflict. It’s our responsibility as parents to ensure both girls receive the support they need to flourish.
So, for the third time, I have left my teaching role to focus on their support. This entails providing explicit social coaching, being patient during homework sessions, and the occasional retreat to the bathroom for a mental health break.
When it comes to our kids, we take what we get. They can push us to our limits, and acknowledging feelings of overwhelm and frustration is important. It’s perfectly valid to recognize that children can be demanding, draining our time, resources, and energy.
I allow myself to feel these emotions—anger, sadness, and annoyance at having to put my career on hold once again, even though it’s a career I excel at and enjoy. I choose to prioritize my children, even when I find myself inwardly screaming over trivial arguments about toys or friends.
The emotional toll is significant, but so is the financial impact. I know I’m delaying my retirement savings, opting out of luxurious vacations, and sacrificing our financial security as we navigate our 40s. Each time I leave a job, there’s the challenge of starting from scratch, proving myself again and again. When I get a call about my kids struggling at school or with a babysitter, I know I need to be there for them.
I give myself permission to feel the weight of these sacrifices. While I’m not the only mother facing this dilemma, I recognize how fortunate I am to have the option to stay home and support my children. My partner is our primary provider, and he contributes equally to parenting after his long workdays. Together, we strive to nurture our daughters.
Despite the challenges and the permission to experience a myriad of emotions, there are bright sides to this new chapter. Although I’m stepping back from my career, I’m not abandoning the skills I’ve acquired over the years.
As a seasoned educator and now a writer, I can still advocate for educational reform through my writing. I maintain a passion for education and am motivated to share my insights to improve the system for students and teachers alike. I can read educational literature, engage with professional networks, and collaborate with former colleagues on teaching strategies.
Pausing my career doesn’t equate to quitting; it’s an opportunity to explore new avenues of engagement in education. I will soon begin a PhD in Educational Policy and Leadership, dedicating the next four years to solidifying my commitment to reshape teacher education.
I can use my days while my kids are at school for research, writing, and expanding my professional network. Stepping back from my career doesn’t mean halting my learning journey. Our brains require constant stimulation, and now I have the time to cultivate my intellectual growth.
For busy parents, finding time for school announcements, after-school activities, and special days can be overwhelming. Now, I can actively participate in school events that I couldn’t fit into my schedule before. I can help my daughters prepare for school, ease their anxieties about quizzes, and listen to their friendship woes.
Instead of rushing out the door to teach others’ children, I can linger in the morning and focus on my own.
Leaving a career is a challenging decision, filled with emotional and ego challenges. For my family, however, it’s the right one. It’s a step we’ve chosen to fulfill both aspects of our life’s work—contributing to society while nurturing our children. Ultimately, it’s about our family and supporting one another every day.
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Summary:
The author reflects on the challenging decision to leave her teaching career to focus on her children’s emotional and educational needs. She shares the struggles of parenting two daughters with different challenges, the financial implications of stepping back from her career, and the emotional toll of such a decision. Despite these challenges, she views this break as an opportunity to advocate for educational reform, pursue further education, and engage more deeply in her daughters’ lives.
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