Searching for Turtle Puns and Jokes? We’ve Got the Perfect Shellection!

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If you’re on the hunt for some delightful turtle humor, you’ve come to the right place! Turtles are fascinating creatures—some of the oldest animals on Earth, dating back around 200 million years, they’re the original travelers, always carrying their homes on their backs. Their hard shell, made up of over 50 bones, is a vital part of their anatomy that grows with them as they navigate life both in water and on land, where they also lay their eggs. But beyond these interesting facts, there’s a treasure trove of turtle puns and jokes waiting to be discovered.

If you enjoy lighthearted laughs about animals like otters, penguins, and kangaroos, you’re about to dive into a sea of turtle-tastic humor that’s both amusing and punny. Get ready for some chuckles with our carefully curated collection of turtle jokes and puns!

Curious about more animal-themed humor? Check out our posts on frog jokes, pig puns, rabbit jokes, and more!

Best Turtle Puns and Jokes

1. What do you call a flying turtle? A shellicopter.
2. My pet turtle passed away. I’m not sad, just shell-shocked.
3. Where does a turtle go when it rains? A shell-ter.
4. What do you call a famous turtle? A shell-ebrity.
5. My friend and I attended a turtle pun workshop yesterday. It tortoise nothing.
6. How does a turtle feel after being electrocuted? Shell-shocked.
7. What do you get when you cross a turtle with a porcupine? A slowpoke.
8. What do you call a turtle chef? A slow cooker.
9. What do turtles do for a birthday? They have a shell-ebration.
10. What do you call a truck full of tortoises crashing into a train full of terrapins? A turtle disaster.
11. What do you call a turtle who takes up photography? A snapping turtle.
12. What kind of photos do turtles take? Shell-fies.
13. Why do turtles never forget? They have turtle recall.
14. Why did the turtle cross the road? To get to the shell station.
15. I went to a costume party as a turtle. I had a shell of a time.
16. What do you get when you cross a turtle with a giraffe and a kangaroo? A turtle neck jumper.
17. How do turtles communicate? With shell phones.
18. What do you call a turtle that’s active at night? A noc-turtle.
19. What does a turtle need to ride a bike? A shell-met.
20. I visited a bookstore to find books about turtles. The cashier asked, “Hardback?” I replied, “Yeah, and little heads!”
21. My favorite teacher was Mrs. Turtle. Strange name, but she tortoise well.
22. What do you call a turtle with six feet? A six-foot turtle!
23. What’s a turtle’s favorite sandwich? Seanut butter and jellyfish.
24. Where do criminals go? To the shell block.
25. Why is turtle wax pricey? Because their ears are tiny.
26. What does a turtle do on its birthday? It shellebrates.
27. Why can’t turtles eat at McDonald’s? They’re too slow for fast food!
28. What’s a turtle’s favorite game? Beakaboo.
29. Why do Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles avoid office work? They can’t stand The Shredder.
30. What’s green and goes click, click, click? A ballpoint turtle.
31. What’s a turtle’s romantic move? Slow dances.
32. What did the turtle say to the taco? “My shell or yours?”
33. How did the musician turtle get off his back? He rocked, and rolled.
34. What type of turtles are easiest to spot? Green “see” turtles.
35. What’s required to buy a rare turtle? You have to shell out a lot of cash.
36. What do you call a turtle with diarrhea? A turdle.
37. What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise? A slow-pork.
38. If a turtle loses its shell, is it naked or homeless?
39. A big grey elephant was sipping from a river when he spotted a snapping turtle asleep on a log. The elephant kicked it to the other side, and a nearby beaver asked, “Why?” The elephant replied, “This little guy bit me 50 years ago!” The beaver exclaimed, “Wow, that’s some memory!” The elephant nodded, “Indeed, turtle recall.”
40. John asked Bob, “What was the snapping turtle doing on the highway?” Bob replied, “I don’t know.” John answered, “About one mile per hour.”
41. Timmy the Turtle climbed a tree and jumped off! He flapped his arms and legs, but hit the ground hard. He climbed the tree again, and Mommy bird said to Daddy bird, “I think it’s time we told Timmy he’s adopted.”
42. What did the snail say while riding on the turtle’s back? Weeeeeee!
43. What’s a turtle’s favorite kind of sweater? A turtle neck.
44. What did the cow say to the turtle? Get a mooove on.
45. What kind of jokes do turtles tell? Shell-larious ones.
46. Where do you find a legless turtle? Wherever you left it!
47. What does a turtle dictator run? A cruel turtle-itarian regime.
48. What did the turtle say when the frog jumped out from behind a bush? “Oh, you sturtled me!”
49. What’s a turtle’s favorite line from Shakespeare? “Shell I compare thee to a summer’s day?”

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Summary

This article presents a delightful collection of turtle puns and jokes, sure to bring a smile to your face. Turtles, with their long history and unique characteristics, make for a fantastic source of humor. Whether you’re looking for a quick laugh or a fun way to entertain friends, these turtle-themed jokes are perfect for all ages.