Recently, I was tuning into an interview on NPR featuring a labor economist, Emily Johnson, who was shedding light on the alarming number of women leaving their jobs to care for children during the pandemic. Toward the end, she delivered a powerful statement that resonated deeply: “I came across an article in Time that discussed how women can motivate their husbands to be more helpful at home. We enter households and assess—does he help out? In my view, this reflects a broader systemic issue. The enormous weight of caregiving typically falls on mothers, yet the national response seems to be, ‘Ladies, just do more.’”
Having written about parenting for several years on my blog, which has close to 500,000 followers, I frequently receive messages from mothers. The most common inquiry? “How can I encourage my husband to contribute more?”
This question comes up repeatedly, often reframed as mothers seeking ways for their partners to engage with the kids, manage household chores, or to stop critiquing the state of the home. What strikes me most is this: I’ve yet to receive a question from a dad asking how to be more involved or supportive. This expectation that mothers should somehow coax their husbands into sharing responsibilities only adds to the emotional load they already carry.
Why should it fall to your wife to prompt you to be more proactive? It’s time to take initiative, guys. Look around—many husbands seem to echo the same tired response as the government: “Women, just try harder.” In the midst of a pandemic, countless women are juggling full-time jobs while also managing their children’s remote schooling, often while their husbands retreat into their offices.
I understand that balancing work and family can be challenging. But why is it predominantly the mothers who are tasked with navigating these difficulties?
To truly be an equal partner in parenting, self-reflection is crucial. Ask yourself, “Am I doing enough?” Unfortunately, your wife might be pondering that very question for you. She could be searching online for guidance on how to inspire you to engage more. Instead, it should be you seeking advice on how to carry your share of the load.
Here’s a quick challenge: Ask your wife if she has ever looked for external resources to encourage you to be more active in family life. If she responds with a “no,” great! But if she says “yes,” it’s time to reflect on what that implies. It indicates she’s struggling and needs you to step up.
The bottom line is, it’s your responsibility to seek out resources and take action—not hers.
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Probable Search Queries:
- How to get my husband involved in parenting
- Tips for husbands to help at home
- Parenting responsibilities for dads
- How to motivate your partner to contribute more
- Balancing work and family during a pandemic
Summary:
The article emphasizes the need for husbands to take initiative in sharing parenting and household responsibilities, particularly during challenging times like the pandemic. It highlights the emotional burden women face and urges men to reflect on their roles, seek resources, and step up to support their spouses without placing the onus on them to ask for help.