Updated: November 30, 2020
Originally Published: November 26, 2020
Winter has never been my favorite season. The snow is just a hassle, the darkness makes the days feel too short, and the constant chill wraps around me like a suffocating blanket. But lately, nothing feels as cold as my relationship. Why? Because my partner is glued to his phone, and it’s tearing us apart.
I find myself competing for his attention on social media platforms. Our intimacy has been reduced to Instagram likes and Facebook posts. You might think I’m exaggerating, but trust me, it’s as dire as I say. Each morning, he reaches for his phone instead of turning to me or our children. He scrolls through Instagram Stories while sipping his coffee, completely disengaged from our reality. Afternoons are spent on Facebook, rather than enjoying quality time with our kids. And when night falls, he’s lost in a vortex of mindless videos.
Communication between us has transformed into a series of texts, tags, and memes rather than meaningful conversations. His phone addiction extends to work, where he’s perpetually checking emails at all hours, never truly disconnecting from the digital world. Our children feel the impact too; my daughter tries to get his attention, while my son repeats “dada” multiple times before he even acknowledges him. After 18 years together, navigating through various challenges, I’m uncertain if we can overcome this one.
My experience isn’t unique. Although there’s no formal diagnosis for “phone addiction,” the compulsive behavior resembles other addictive patterns. Dr. Aaron Weiner, a psychologist and addiction specialist, points out that compulsive phone use often stems from social media and mobile games, which provide immediate gratification and serve as an escape from negative feelings. FOMO (fear of missing out) also plays a role, though it’s more prevalent among teens.
So what’s the solution? My partner and I are in counseling to enhance our communication. We meet with a therapist weekly to learn how to connect meaningfully. He’s working on mindfulness through yoga and meditation, while we’ve set rules for technology-free time. Meals and family activities are now device-free, and I’ve taken to capturing moments of him absorbed in his phone, highlighting what he’s missing.
Will these changes make a difference? I honestly don’t know. But I refuse to let our love fade into obscurity like a fleeting social media post. I’m committed to fighting for our relationship.
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Summary:
The article discusses the effects of phone addiction on a marriage, highlighting the struggles of one partner who feels neglected due to their spouse’s constant phone use. The author shares their experience of competing for attention and the emotional distance created by technology. They explore the concept of phone addiction and its similarities to other behavioral addictions, emphasizing the importance of communication and mindfulness in addressing the issue.
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Phone addiction, relationship issues, communication in marriage, technology impact on families, mindfulness in relationships.