In a poignant piece for The New York Times, the Duchess of Sussex, Meghan Markle, shares the profound sorrow she and her partner, Prince Henry, faced earlier this year due to a miscarriage. “It was a July morning that commenced like any other: preparing breakfast, caring for the pets, taking vitamins, searching for that elusive sock,” she reflects. “I picked up the crayon that had rolled under the table and tied my hair back before reaching for my son in his crib.”
Markle recounts the moment she felt a sudden cramp. “I collapsed to the floor with him in my arms, singing a lullaby to soothe us both, the cheerful melody a stark contrast to my instinct that something was wrong,” she shares. “In that moment, while cradling my firstborn, I understood that I was losing my second child.”
“Hours later, I found myself in a hospital bed, clutching my husband’s hand,” she continues. “I could feel the dampness of his palm and kissed his knuckles, both of us in tears. As I stared at the stark white walls, my mind wandered to how we would begin to heal from this.”
Markle reflects on a moment from the couple’s 2019 tour of South Africa when a journalist asked her, “Are you ok?” Her candid response struck a chord with many mothers. “My spontaneous reply seemed to open the door for others to express their own truths,” she writes. “But it wasn’t just my honesty that mattered; it was the question itself. ‘Thank you for asking,’ I responded. ‘Not many people have inquired about my well-being.’”
She connects her painful experience to the tumultuous events of 2020, stating, “Sitting in that hospital bed, witnessing my husband’s heartbreak as he tried to piece together my shattered spirit, I realized that the first step towards healing is to ask, ‘Are you OK?’”
Markle goes on to describe the collective grief faced this year, from unexpected losses to the tragic deaths of individuals like Breonna Taylor and George Floyd, which have forced society to confront deep-seated issues of racism. “What was once a community has turned into division,” she notes. “We aren’t merely debating our views on facts; we’re polarized over whether facts even exist. We’re divided over the validity of science and the outcomes of elections.”
She recalls an experience from her youth, riding a cab in New York City and seeing a woman in distress on the sidewalk. She remembers wanting to check on her but hesitated, recalling her driver’s dismissive response. “With the pandemic isolating us further, I regret not asking if she needed help,” Markle expresses. “This illustrates the danger of living in silos, where moments of sorrow or fear are faced alone, without anyone asking, ‘Are you OK?’”
Addressing the stigma surrounding miscarriage, she emphasizes the need for open conversation. “Through our loss, we discovered that in a room of 100 women, 10 to 20 might have experienced a miscarriage. Yet, despite this commonality, the topic remains shrouded in shame, perpetuating solitary grief.”
Ultimately, Markle hopes that sharing their experience will encourage others to speak about their pain. “When we genuinely ask how others are faring and truly listen, the burden of grief often lightens for everyone involved. Sharing our pain is the first step towards healing together.”
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Summary:
In her heartfelt essay, Meghan Markle shares the profound grief following her miscarriage while reflecting on broader societal issues, emphasizing the importance of open conversations about loss and mental health. She highlights the need for community support and understanding, urging readers to reach out and ask if others are “OK.”