For the past few years, I’ve often reflected on whether I was overly anxious about my son’s ADHD diagnosis. I spent countless sleepless nights during those early days, recognizing that he was different from his peers. Before turning to medication, I explored every alternative I could find. I dedicated hours to reading and annotating books on ADHD, striving to grasp my child’s unique perspective.
As my son entered his teenage years and began to embrace his identity, I sometimes questioned if my worries had been unnecessary. He’s doing well. We’ve found the right medication that enhances his concentration, he maintains good grades, and he has developed a remarkable talent for playing the piano by ear. Recently, during a walk, he shared, “It feels really cool to have something I’m good at.” At that moment, I thought back to all my worries. Look at him, I told myself. He’s doing just fine.
However, that perspective isn’t entirely accurate. The reality is, my concerns for my son’s future — and the proactive measures that followed — were instrumental in his progress. Had I not worried, researched, and attended numerous parent-teacher meetings, we might not be at this juncture today where I can reflect and think I might have worried too much.
So, to parents of young children diagnosed with ADHD, I’m not going to advise you to stop worrying. Instead, I want you to recognize that your concern is your superpower.
That anxiety you feel — the kind that sometimes turns to panic as you consider how your vibrant, energetic child will navigate the world independently — is your greatest strength. Your concern, which is a direct reflection of your love, will create pathways for your child. It acts as a bulldozer, clearing obstacles so that your child can forge their own way.
Your worries will drive you to understand a condition you might have mistakenly thought stemmed from a lack of discipline (guilty as charged). You will discover that establishing boundaries is even more crucial for children with ADHD, while also learning to choose your battles wisely, as some behaviors are simply out of a child’s control. Your anxiety will cultivate a level of patience you didn’t think was possible. You might lose your temper at times, because parenting a child with ADHD can be incredibly challenging, but your worry will remind you to reconnect and have those essential conversations with your child.
Your concern will empower you to stand up to educators who may wrongly believe your child is simply “choosing” not to focus. It will transform you into a fierce advocate for the individualized support your child deserves, as mandated by law. You’ll realize that while medical professionals offer valuable insights, no one knows your child better than you.
Your worries will motivate you to seek out activities that bring joy to your child. You may try various sports, instruments, or hobbies. If you haven’t discovered what excites them yet, don’t give up. Keep introducing new experiences and encourage them to explore their interests. Be the bulldozer, but allow your child to lay the pavement. For my son, it was piano that finally ignited his passion. We tried soccer, gymnastics, violin, and guitar; he was decent at the guitar, but the piano truly resonated with him. He may not pursue it professionally, but the joy it brings him is invaluable.
Children with ADHD often face external judgments that can make them feel inadequate — not quick enough, not focused enough, too impulsive, too wild. Finding that one thing that truly captivates your child is essential. You will discover it, and it’s perfectly okay to worry. Your concern is simply your love compelling you to keep striving for your child’s success.
I once worried incessantly about my son. While I still have concerns for his future, they now coexist with a sense of confidence. My worries, once overwhelming, have become the driving force that kept me motivated to explore new avenues and interventions. I can now see the positive outcomes of our efforts; they have made a tangible difference.
My son is thriving. He is kind, industrious, happy, and wise. He achieves good grades, and while maintaining focus is still a challenge, he is managing it. He has discovered his strengths, and he has friends who accept him wholeheartedly. He is learning to take responsibility for his actions and to advocate for himself, understanding that ADHD is a factor in his journey, but not an excuse.
If you are at the beginning of your journey with a child diagnosed with ADHD, I want to reassure you: everything will be alright. I won’t advise you not to worry. Instead, I want you to see your worry as love, propelling you to do the essential work that will help your child flourish. You are capable of this.
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Summary:
This article offers reassurance to parents of children with ADHD, emphasizing that worry is a natural expression of love and can act as a powerful motivator for advocacy and intervention. It encourages parents to continue exploring options for their child while recognizing the importance of patience and understanding. The author reflects on their own journey and the positive outcomes resulting from their efforts, ultimately conveying that everything will be okay.