My sister-in-law recently tweeted, “I’ve never showered less,” and I couldn’t help but chuckle because it resonated so deeply. Those five simple words encapsulated much of the essence of 2020 for me. As this tumultuous year comes to a close, I’ve realized I have many “I’ve never” revelations. Each one, however, comes with a newfound perspective that alters how I view this year.
I’ve never showered less.
Before March, I showered daily without a second thought. It was simply part of my routine. But with days spent at home and few outside interactions, the necessity for daily showers faded away. I’m not neglecting hygiene, but showering every other day feels oddly freeing. Growing up in a family that valued physical appearance, I’ve struggled with body image. Years were spent chasing an elusive ideal weight, constantly scrutinizing every wrinkle or blemish. Yet, in a year where I’ve had more time to reflect, I’ve shifted my focus away from these insecurities. With less opportunity to compare myself to others, I’ve found greater acceptance for who I am. I’ve never felt more at peace with my appearance.
I’ve never been less physically intimate with my partner.
In over 26 years together, my husband and I have spent more time in the same space than ever. With his daily commute eliminated, he now works from the basement, popping up throughout the day for brief chats. However, despite this increased proximity, our physical intimacy has dwindled, primarily due to the presence of our teenagers. Their late-night habits and shared TV shows leave little room for private moments. Yet, this absence of intimacy has allowed us to deepen our emotional connection. We’ve rekindled long conversations during our walks and shared more meaningful moments together, making us feel closer than ever.
I’ve never watched more television.
Some days it feels like my youngest daughter and I have exhausted Netflix. We have spent countless hours cozied up on the couch, watching series together. I’ve transformed from a parent who monitored screen time to one who says, “Okay, just one more episode” at midnight. This binge-watching has provided a welcome distraction from the constant stream of news about the pandemic and politics. Shows like Parks and Recreation have kept our spirits high, while also giving me opportunities to discuss important topics with my daughter in a way she’s ready to understand. We now share inside jokes and moments that strengthen our bond.
I’ve never felt less in control.
Throughout my adult life, I’ve set goals and created lists to maintain control over my path. After my first child was born with Down syndrome, I channeled my energy into learning about her needs. However, 2020 has thrown the notion of control into disarray. From canceled vacations to missed milestones, I faced challenges that were beyond my influence. Yet, the unexpected downtime allowed me to tackle projects I had long neglected. I made a list of tasks I could manage, but as time went on, my optimism began to wane. I wanted to revert to a time when life was filled with activity and travel. Despite feeling overwhelmed, I focused on guiding my children through these changes, reminding them—and myself—that we can control our reactions to uncontrollable situations.
2020 will undoubtedly be remembered as one of the most challenging years in recent history, filled with loss and uncertainty. Yet it has also provided opportunities for growth and connection. While I yearn for life pre-pandemic, I’ve come to appreciate the lessons learned. As I look ahead, I feel prepared to embrace a new way of living.
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Summary:
2020 has brought about significant changes in personal habits, relationships, and perspectives. From a decline in daily showers to a reduction in physical intimacy with my partner, the year has prompted deep reflections on self-acceptance and emotional connections. Despite feeling less in control due to unforeseen circumstances, I’ve found opportunities for growth and bonding with my daughter. As I move forward, I carry the lessons learned into a new way of living.