“Have you reached your limit yet?” This was the question I posed to myself on the morning of May 2, 2013. I found myself bent over my bathroom sink, feeling as if I had been poisoned—my own doing, of course. My body trembled uncontrollably, and I struggled to hold myself upright. Gazing into the mirror, I barely recognized the bloated figure staring back at me, worn out and hungover. Again.
I had to muster the strength to get to work, where I taught special education at a junior high in Northern California. From the outside, I seemed to have it all together: recently married, a new home, and aspirations of starting a family. Yet, a chilling thought plagued my mind daily: all I ever wanted was to be a mother, yet I was willing to forsake that dream for another drink. I knew that when I returned home that night, I would repeat the cycle.
I couldn’t sustain this existence any longer; I had been aware of it for some time. The reality was that I wasn’t truly living; I was merely existing, dying inside. At 29, I was exhausted—sick of being sick. I yearned for my suffering to cease, but the thought of a day without alcohol seemed insurmountable, let alone an entire lifetime. The obsession consumed every part of me. So, I took a step I had never attempted before: I sought help.
Fast forward 7.5 years, and I now have three amazing daughters who have never witnessed their mother take a single sip of alcohol. Sobriety is not a passive occurrence; it requires action, effort, and support. It was during the pandemic that I chose to become an outspoken advocate for sobriety, particularly among mothers. I recognized the parallels between the isolation stemming from COVID-19 and the darkest days of my addiction. The trend of mothers using alcohol to cope with the challenges of parenting has only intensified. Many are blurring the lines regarding acceptable drinking levels, often justifying their choices with stress, anxiety, and depression.
As a person in recovery, friends and family often approach me about concerning alcohol use among themselves or their loved ones. Perhaps this resonates with you: what began as two glasses of wine after the kids were asleep has morphed into a bottle consumed alone to numb daily struggles. The desire for a drink has shifted to an absolute need.
Currently, many individuals are rapidly transitioning from casual drinkers or recreational drug users to full-blown addicts in just a few months. We are desperate to find anything to alleviate the mental pain brought on by this pandemic. Substances that promise relief only deepen our suffering.
Please understand: you don’t have to live this way any longer. There are alternatives.
Addiction is recognized as a treatable chronic illness by the American Medical Association, yet the stigma surrounding it remains perplexing. People readily show sympathy for mental health crises but often dismiss addiction as a personal failing. They fail to see that these struggles are intertwined. There’s a saying: “To someone with addiction, no explanation is necessary; to someone without it, no explanation is possible.” With so many lives lost to addiction, shouldn’t we approach this issue with compassion and empathy? These qualities cost us nothing.
After writing an article titled “How Lucas Grant’s Relapse Strengthened My Sobriety,” I had the chance to speak with Alex Thompson, the CEO and co-founder of ClearPath, a sober social networking platform aiming to normalize addiction and eliminate its stigma. Thompson shared that within the first three weeks of COVID-19, his app experienced a staggering 1,900% increase in requests for help. Messages of desperation poured in: “I have pills lined up on my counter, and I’m going to end it. I can’t continue.” These individuals were reaching out in their darkest moments.
Thompson believes that “the opposite of addiction is connection,” which is why he created a network for those affected by addiction. The app provides access to helplines, treatment facilities, and sober chat groups, all at no cost. There are also “sober curious” groups, offering a safe space to explore tough questions. ClearPath reveals a different way of life, featuring guides to sober living, sober dating, and even sober travel options. Despite society’s focus on wine tastings and happy hours, there’s a vibrant life waiting that doesn’t involve alcohol. Sobriety can be exciting!
Now more than ever, people crave connection. In a pre-COVID world, we would often close 12-step meetings by forming a circle and holding hands. This circle symbolizes our collective journey. Connecting with others who share similar experiences reminds us that we are all human and, crucially, not alone.
I will continue to share my story of sobriety. This vulnerability has become a source of strength. What once filled me with shame has now opened the door for others to confront their struggles. A message of hope could be the difference between someone succumbing to addiction and someone thriving in recovery.
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Potential Search Queries:
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Summary: This article reflects on the journey of overcoming addiction, emphasizing the need for connection and support. It highlights the importance of recognizing addiction as a treatable disease and encourages those struggling to seek help. The narrative serves as a source of hope for individuals battling their own addictions.