For many couples, financial issues are a leading source of conflict and discontentment in their relationships. Numerous parents have expressed that credit card debt is creating significant stress at home.
Money, money, money… it’s often the root of marital discord, largely because debt can be a heavy burden. Nearly 40% of American households carry some form of consumer debt, which can include student loans, car payments, and, notably, credit card debt. Those who do carry credit cards typically owe between $5,000 and $7,000, a situation that is causing turmoil in numerous marriages, as revealed by our Confessional.
Research indicates that consumer debt can adversely affect a marriage, particularly for couples who argue about money. A study involving over 4,500 married couples found that those accumulating more debt over time were increasingly likely to separate. Furthermore, couples with higher debt levels reported more frequent arguments over finances and lower overall satisfaction in their marriages.
“I let my husband manage our finances, and now we’re drowning in debt. I took charge and paid off the credit cards myself. Paying only the minimum is just so foolish!” — Confessional #25794043
“If my husband and I ever split, it won’t be due to infidelity or other issues. It will be because he manages our finances like a teenager with a credit card. I refuse to suffer financially because of him!” — Confessional #25767203
“We’ve accumulated so many credit cards that we’re living paycheck to paycheck, barely scraping by because of minimum payments. It’s so frustrating!” — Confessional #25246047
The problem with credit cards is that once you’re approved for one with a decent limit, it can be tempting to use it for both wants and needs. For many, when finances are tight, relying on credit cards feels like the only option.
“My husband has 15 credit cards and can’t keep track of them. He gets irritated with me because he’s confused about the benefits of new cards. If he applies for another one, I’m out!” — Confessional #23999828
“I finally cleared my bankruptcy from my credit report and got new credit cards, but now I’ve fallen back into credit card debt! What’s wrong with me?! I hope I can pay it down this time.” — Confessional #21881809
“My husband called me ‘negligent’ for letting our credit cards fall behind. He didn’t consider that I took a $40k pay cut to be a stay-at-home mom. Did he really think I wouldn’t need some of his income to get by?” — Confessional #20956912
The study also revealed that taking on credit card debt is correlated with lower marital satisfaction. Conversely, paying off debt is linked to higher satisfaction. Couples who accumulate debt often argue more, spend less quality time together, and feel inequity in how finances are managed within the relationship.
“I sorted through my husband’s clutter and found a stack of debit and credit cards. He claims he never saw them, but I don’t open mail addressed to him. He never checks his paperwork and just stashes it away for later.” — Confessional #20680535
“Someone please help! I can’t stop buying Uggs! My obsession is getting out of control!” — Confessional #19906558
“My husband is unemployed at 40, and I work full-time with our daughter in daycare. Our credit cards are maxed out at over $50k, and he wants to go to grad school next fall. Yeah, right! I wish I had said that out loud!” — Confessional #19305070
While some couples manage to devise debt repayment plans that work for them, others find it nearly impossible, leading to increased drama in the Confessional.
“Maybe one day, I won’t have to rely on credit cards for essentials like food.” — Confessional #18804020
“I see middle-class people as entitled. They think because they do X, they deserve Y—even when Y means maxing out credit cards or treating their home equity like an ATM.” — Confessional #18479962
“My husband and I are almost $100,000 in debt from school, car loans, and credit cards. Just thinking about it makes me feel sick. I have no idea how we’ll ever pay it off.” — Confessional #17590322
Sending positive vibes to everyone facing financial struggles. 2020 has been a tough year with economic challenges, and many are feeling the pressure. Remember, you’re not alone, and you’re doing your best!
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Summary:
Credit card debt is a significant source of conflict in many marriages, causing stress and dissatisfaction among couples. Research indicates that high levels of debt correlate with increased arguments and lower marital satisfaction. While some couples find ways to manage their debt, others struggle, leading to heightened drama and emotional strain. Positive support is crucial for those navigating financial difficulties during challenging times.