This year marked my son’s entrance into high school, a milestone I had envisioned as a blend of academic rigor and social excitement. We are fortunate to have an excellent public school nearby, offering a robust curriculum along with numerous extracurricular activities. I pictured him waiting at the bus stop each morning, looking a bit sleepy, with his hands buried in his pockets. I imagined him personalizing his locker with his own artwork, tackling late-night homework sessions for Algebra, and diligently memorizing Spanish vocabulary using flashcards. I was determined to motivate him to strive for academic excellence, especially considering the opportunity for a tuition-free state university education here in Florida for students with strong GPAs. My son was equally eager, with a mix of excitement and nerves about starting high school.
However, reality has been far from our expectations. His bedroom has transformed into his classroom; his computer serves as the whiteboard, and email is the primary mode of communication with his teachers. While he could have attended in-person classes, we collectively decided, with his father’s support, that virtual schooling was the best option for him. Fortunately, both his father and I are able to provide the necessary oversight at both our homes.
Initially, I thought I was prepared for this new educational arrangement. Although we had changed the environment and the format, I told myself that school remained school. I still anticipated that he would put forth his best effort and keep the scholarship goal in mind. The virtual school setup even allowed him to retake assignments and tests up to three times, which I framed as a valuable opportunity for him to maintain his grades. I believed we could still achieve the same objectives we had set earlier.
I was mistaken. As the semester progressed, my son began to fall behind, and his grades began to dip. The option to repeat assignments to boost his grades became impractical due to time constraints. I found myself struggling to balance disciplining him for getting sidetracked by YouTube and understanding the challenges of learning in a format that felt so drastically different from what he was used to. At one point, I considered revoking his gaming privileges—the only social interaction he had left—until he caught up with schoolwork. Frustration mounted as he continued to let distractions pull him away from his studies.
During a routine check-up with his doctor, my son opened up about his struggles in a way he hadn’t with me. “It feels so different,” he told the doctor. “That’s because it is different,” the doctor replied. “Nothing about this is normal, so we shouldn’t expect it to be. We need to adjust our expectations.” This was the reassurance we both needed. The doctor offered tips to help improve my son’s focus and adjusted his ADHD medication for better timing. Most importantly, he reinforced the idea that none of this is typical.
Later, my son and I had a candid conversation about school. He explained how challenging it is to concentrate on words on a screen compared to engaging with a teacher in person, who uses body language and visual aids to maintain attention. He expressed his frustration about how the pandemic has robbed him of so much, not just academically but socially as well. Although he still supports the decision we made together, he longs for the return of in-person learning.
As I talk with other parents, I realize many are facing similar challenges, regardless of their chosen schooling method. Students attending in-person classes are dealing with wearing masks all day, which, while necessary, is uncomfortable and bothersome. Schools occasionally send entire classes or even whole schools home to quarantine, disrupting learning. Furthermore, not all students have the necessary resources at home to transition seamlessly between in-person and online learning. A school-issued laptop is little help without a stable internet connection. Numerous barriers are complicating our children’s education.
We all need to recalibrate our expectations—of our children, their teachers, and the learning outcomes we anticipate this year. Academic performance shouldn’t take precedence right now. Standardized tests should be postponed, and teachers shouldn’t be evaluated based on standards that apply to non-pandemic years. What criteria could be used to assess a teacher managing both in-person and virtual students simultaneously? With no established guidelines for what constitutes effective teaching in such a unique context, it’s unreasonable to enforce traditional performance evaluations. Students should be encouraged to do their best, but mental health must come first. Teachers should be allowed to exercise their creativity and utilize any resources they find effective in keeping students engaged. The pandemic itself brings enough stress without imposing unrealistic “normal” expectations on top of it.
If you’re worried that your child is falling behind, you’re not alone—I share that concern. But it’s important to recognize that no one is truly falling behind; we are all navigating this together. Take a deep breath. Show kindness to yourself, your kids, their teachers, and school administrators. Offer support or a listening ear whenever possible. We are all doing our best in this challenging situation, and the reality of this school year, regardless of grade level, is unlikely to match our initial expectations. For now, that acknowledgment is more than enough.
For more insights on navigating education during these challenging times, you can check out this other blog post or learn from experts in the field. Additionally, Science Daily offers excellent resources on topics related to health and education.
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Summary:
This school year has been anything but ordinary, particularly for students transitioning to high school. The shift to virtual learning has brought unforeseen challenges, leading to difficulties in focus and academic performance. As parents and educators, we must adjust our expectations and prioritize mental health over traditional academic goals. By supporting our children and recognizing the unique circumstances we face, we can navigate this unprecedented time together.