Relationships can be challenging, and anyone who claims otherwise is not telling the truth. Even in a seemingly perfect partnership where both individuals share interests and parenting philosophies—or even when deciding whether to have children—unexpected issues can arise, such as a prolonged quarantine. However, conflicts don’t have to signal the end of a relationship. In many cases, marriage counseling serves as an excellent way to realign your partnership. Commonly known as “couples therapy” or “marital counseling,” this form of psychotherapy involves working with trained professionals, typically licensed marriage and family therapists. If you and your partner are contemplating this path, you likely have numerous questions. Fear not; we’re here to assist you. Here’s what you should understand as you consider this option.
What Is Marriage Counseling?
Marriage counseling aims to facilitate a constructive dialogue between partners, guided by an impartial third party, to identify relationship issues and devise strategies for resolution. According to the Mayo Clinic, counseling can take various formats, including sessions where only one partner attends or where both partners are present. While many couples use counseling as a short-term solution, some benefit from ongoing sessions to maintain their relationship’s health.
Differentiating Marriage Counseling and Couples Therapy
Although often used interchangeably, marriage counseling and couples therapy have different focuses. Marriage counseling addresses current issues within the marriage, while couples therapy examines the broader relationship dynamics to understand the root causes of these problems.
When to Seek Marriage Counseling
If you’re contemplating marriage counseling, you might be uncertain if it’s the right step for your relationship. There’s no definitive guideline, but here are several indicators that suggest it could be beneficial, as outlined by therapist Emily Roberts, LMHC:
- Communication has broken down.
- One or both partners are contemplating or have engaged in infidelity.
- You feel more like roommates than romantic partners.
- Conflicts arise that you cannot resolve independently, especially regarding parenting.
- Negative emotions are manifesting in harmful behaviors.
- Separation seems like the only option.
- You’re staying together solely for the children’s sake.
- Either partner is struggling with sexual issues.
- Substance abuse is an issue for one or both partners.
- Anger overshadows all other aspects of the relationship.
Finding a Marriage Therapist
So, you’ve decided to move forward and schedule a session—great decision! The next step is finding a therapist that suits both you and your partner. The Mayo Clinic suggests considering the following when selecting a marriage therapist:
- Qualifications and Experience: What educational background and training does the therapist have? Are they state-licensed and credentialed by the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy? How familiar are they with your specific issues?
- Logistics: What are their office hours? Is the location convenient? Are they accessible during emergencies?
- Treatment Plan: How many sessions do they anticipate? How long does each session last?
- Fees and Insurance: What are the session costs? Are they covered by your health insurance?
What to Expect in Marriage Counseling
Each couple’s experience with marriage counseling is unique. Generally, you should be prepared to discuss both the positive and negative aspects of your relationship openly. This transparency is crucial for identifying issues without placing blame and crafting effective solutions.
For counseling to be effective, both partners must be committed to the process. It’s essential to clarify your goals prior to therapy. Are you looking to grow closer, or do you need help mediating conflicts? Being aware of your expectations will make the process more fruitful. Remember, honesty is key—this environment should be a safe space to share everything.
The journey may be challenging, but simply seeking out this information is a step in the right direction. So, how successful is marriage counseling? Research by the American Psychological Association indicates that nearly 75 percent of couples who undergo Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT) report positive outcomes. This includes couples facing high stress, such as military families or those dealing with infertility.
Dr. Lisa Tran, Ph.D., emphasizes that in abusive relationships, improvement is unlikely until the abusive behavior ceases. Individual therapy may be necessary for each partner to foster self-control and ensure safety.
Inspirational Thoughts on Marriage Counseling
- “At your absolute best, you still won’t be good enough for the wrong person. At your worst, you’ll still be worth it to the right person.” — Mia Thompson
- “Poor communication can create a wider gap between two people than any physical distance.” — Jayden Carter
- “Trustworthy relationships are built on goodwill. Couples with strong trust can weather conflicts more easily.” — Rachel Adams, Communication Skills for Couples: A Practical Guide
- “The more consistent we are in keeping our commitments, the deeper the trust grows.” — Rachel Adams, Communication Skills for Couples: A Practical Guide
For more insights on relationship dynamics, you may find this article helpful.
Summary
Marriage counseling can be a valuable resource for couples facing challenges in their relationship. Understanding the differences between counseling and therapy, knowing when to seek help, and finding the right therapist are essential steps. Open communication and clarity of purpose are critical for a successful counseling experience, as studies show a high rate of positive outcomes for couples who participate in counseling.