Recently, a video by 18-year-old Black teen Malik Johnson gained significant attention on TikTok, where he shared the extensive list of safety rules his mother instilled in him for navigating the world. This list is not only lengthy but also deeply unsettling for many white parents, as it includes directives like “avoid putting your hands in your pockets” and “don’t touch anything unless you intend to buy it.” This heart-wrenching compilation covers everyday activities that many white individuals often take for granted, such as shopping or engaging with law enforcement.
Reflecting on my upbringing, my own parents enforced strict rules, but none of them ever related to preventing police violence. A few years back, I experienced a minor traffic stop for failing to signal, and while I felt annoyed, the officer treated me respectfully, merely checking my tail lights and wishing me a good day. I never felt the need to have my hands visibly on the steering wheel or to prepare my children for a potential police encounter. My only concern was avoiding a ticket, and this is a clear illustration of privilege.
Many are familiar with “the talk” that Black parents provide their children from an early age. While I cannot fully comprehend the nuances of these conversations, I suspect they mirror the guidelines Malik received from his mother, emphasizing how to interact with law enforcement to ensure their safety. As a white individual, this is not a conversation I experienced as a child, nor have I had it with my own kids.
Recognizing my privilege means I have a duty to hold an entirely different conversation. White parents must discuss with their children how to be advocates against racism. They should understand that when witnessing interactions between Black individuals and authorities, they have a responsibility to observe and document, and intervene if necessary. White bodies and voices enjoy a safety that Black and brown individuals do not.
I have made it clear to my sons that they must utilize their privilege to protect the lives of their Black and brown peers. This may even require them to physically stand between the police and someone in distress, similar to what allies have done to shield Black protesters. It involves using their voices to confront racism and prioritizing others’ equality over their own comfort.
Moreover, we must teach our children to actively listen to Black voices, acknowledging their pain and committing to improve our society. It’s vital that they understand that racial expressions of pain may manifest in various forms, and it is not our place to judge how others communicate their experiences.
Understanding that racism is always a factor is crucial. As highlighted by Jessica Thompson in a related article, we should shift our focus to asking “How much racism was involved?” instead of debating whether an action was racist.
We must also prepare our children to confront both overt and subtle racism, whether it originates from a teacher, neighbor, or even within themselves. Unlearning deeply ingrained biases is essential. Our society is rooted in systemic racism, and recognizing this is the first step in dismantling it. We need to encourage our children to question societal norms and understand the historical context behind them.
Additionally, we must equip our kids to respond constructively when they are called out for their own biases. Mistakes will happen; I can attest to having made many. Our children need to learn to approach these situations with humility and a commitment to growth, rather than defensiveness, which detracts from dismantling racism.
This conversation extends beyond our children; it’s also essential to engage with our parents, friends, and even ourselves. It is not the responsibility of Black individuals to rectify a system designed to benefit white individuals. Teaching our kids to be kind and inclusive is not enough; we must encourage them to be proactive anti-racists at all times, not just when it’s convenient.
We are fortunate not to have to endure the painful discussions that Black parents have with their children to ensure their safety. In light of this privilege, we must take on the responsibility of initiating other vital conversations. For more insights, check out this post on home insemination and learn about the importance of understanding systemic issues from Intracervical Insemination, a credible source on these topics. Additionally, Mount Sinai offers excellent resources for those seeking information on pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, white parents must engage their children in conversations about racism, privilege, and advocacy. It is crucial to recognize the disparities in experiences based on race and to teach our children to be allies in the struggle for equality. We have an obligation to confront our biases and educate ourselves and others to foster a more equitable society.