Let’s face it, this pandemic has been a total nightmare, especially for parents. Beyond the heartbreaking loss of life that many of us have endured or witnessed, families have been rocked by unemployment, grief, anxiety, and other unimaginable hardships. Many parents are essential workers, having to navigate this storm while keeping services available for everyone—putting their own safety on the line.
Even those who haven’t been directly affected by the virus are struggling. Many of us are juggling remote work while trying to homeschool our kids, which feels impossible at times. Our mental well-being is suffering, and so is that of our children. They’re restless, irritable, and their sleep schedules are all over the place. We worry deeply about their emotional health as they grapple with loneliness and disconnection from friends, family, and favorite teachers. I worry about my kids—now and in the long run. I’ve lost sleep over it. I’m sure you have too.
But here’s the thing: that doesn’t mean we should make choices that put them or others in harm’s way. As the country begins to reopen and impatience grows among parents, I’ve noticed too many of you organizing playdates or gathering with other families “just this once.” I’m seeing families inviting the neighborhood kids over to play or visiting grandparents for a holiday BBQ.
Yes, you might think you’re being careful with social distancing, but I have serious doubts about how effective that can be—especially when kids are involved. Many of you are justifying these gatherings by saying your kids need companionship and that they’re feeling lonely. You’re saying that “you only live once,” and claiming that there aren’t many COVID-19 cases in your area. You’re insisting you know the kids your children are playing with are healthy. You’re telling other parents to mind their own business and that “everyone needs to do what works for them.”
Well, let me be clear: I’m judging you. And I’m not feeling bad about it.
At this stage, socializing outside your immediate family isn’t safe. Sure, it may seem less risky than attending a big event, but every time you interact with someone outside your household, you increase the chance of contracting the virus or spreading it to others, which endangers your community.
Let’s revisit how this virus spreads. It’s important to note that the coronavirus can be transmitted by asymptomatic individuals or those who haven’t yet shown symptoms. The CDC recently estimated that around one-third of those with the virus are asymptomatic, and about 40% of transmissions occur before individuals feel sick. This means that the people you meet could feel perfectly fine, but still carry the virus and could infect you. The same applies to your family potentially infecting others.
You can’t know if you’re infected unless you’ve been tested. Period. So yes, while you and your family may seem healthy, one of you could be a carrier, putting everyone at risk. And although kids generally face milder symptoms, they can still spread the virus to one another and to vulnerable individuals like grandparents.
Additionally, there’s a serious inflammatory syndrome linked to COVID-19 that’s causing severe cases in children worldwide, resulting in hospitalizations and even fatalities here in New York. It’s called Multisystem Inflammatory Syndrome in Children, and it’s downright alarming.
Moreover, just because your town currently has low case numbers doesn’t mean the virus isn’t lurking. Symptoms can take 3-14 days to appear after infection, which means people in your community could be unknowingly spreading the virus right now. Why would you take that risk?
Do any of your concerns about your kids’ unhappiness outweigh the fact that social gatherings outside your family significantly heighten the risk of virus transmission—a virus that has claimed nearly 100,000 lives in this country since the pandemic began? This is serious.
Listen up: your kids are going to be okay. Socializing isn’t an emergency. If you can provide food, a safe home, toys, and internet access for your kids, you’re doing just fine, and your children will be fine too. You can afford to wait until it’s safer to socialize outside your household, until we know more about Multisystem Inflammatory Syndrome.
Yes, this situation is frustrating, but kids are more resilient than we often realize. Reflecting on my own childhood, I remember when my parents separated when I was six. My life became unstable, and we moved frequently, living in motels and relying on food assistance. I missed friends and faced loneliness, yet I survived just fine. Many children face adversity, and they come out stronger for it. With love and support, we can help our kids navigate these tough times.
Your child’s boredom or loneliness isn’t a dire circumstance, especially when their safety is at stake. While they may be struggling now, we can guide them through these emotions and show them that they will be okay. I’d much rather my children endure a few months of boredom than risk their lives or the lives of others. That’s the reality we must face.
For more insights on parenting through adversity, check out this blog. If you’re looking for expert advice, Dr. Lisa Thompson provides valuable information. And for those considering fertility treatments, March of Dimes offers excellent resources.
Summary
This article discusses the risks of socializing children during a pandemic, emphasizing the importance of safety over social engagement. It stresses that children will be fine without playdates and that parents should focus on providing a safe and supportive environment until it’s safe to socialize outside the family unit.