I understand I can’t be the flawless parent, but I can certainly be one who admits when I’m wrong. Just recently, I had a moment where I called my child a “brat.” It was a term I’ve never used before, but in a moment of exasperation, it slipped out.
Here’s what happened: I entered my bedroom to discover that he had removed all the pillows from my bed, creating a chaotic pile on the floor to jump into. This is something I’ve explicitly asked him not to do countless times.
My reasons for this request are valid. For starters, I prefer my bed pillows to remain on the bed, free from little feet or bottoms. I just want to sleep on clean pillows that haven’t been on the floor. He has plenty of pillows in his own room to use for jumping, so there’s no need for him to use mine.
He’s aware of this. I’m not the type of parent who relies solely on “because I said so.” He’s always welcome to ask why I set certain rules, and I’ve explained my reasoning each time I’ve told him to stop this behavior.
When I’m calm, I recognize that this pillow situation isn’t a catastrophe. I understand he’s just being a kid, and his impulse control is still developing. However, when I saw the pillows scattered for what felt like the millionth time, I reacted in a way I didn’t anticipate. The constant togetherness during the pandemic has certainly tested my patience.
In a moment of frustration, I exclaimed, “I’ve asked you not to do this a million times! You know it makes me upset! You’re such a brat!” The second those words left my mouth, I was filled with regret. I had never resorted to name-calling in my seven years of parenting until now.
Unfortunately, I can’t take back that moment. I can’t erase that memory from his mind. While the term could have been worse, name-calling is never constructive, and I felt like I had failed. I stopped and offered a half-hearted apology, mumbling something about how I shouldn’t have called him names.
To my surprise, he didn’t really respond. He picked up the pillows and returned to his activities without acknowledging my words. I couldn’t let it go, though. I knew I owed him a sincere apology, and I wanted to ensure he understood how important it was.
So, I called him over and we sat together on my bed. I said, “I’m sorry for calling you a brat earlier. I shouldn’t have used that term. You’re a good boy who tries hard to do the right thing. Taking my pillows off the bed is against the rules, and while it’s annoying, it doesn’t change who you are. I regret calling you names.” He looked at me and simply said, “I forgive you.” We shared a hug, and with a mischievous smile, he remarked, “Calling me names was kind of bratty, huh, Mom?” I chuckled and had to agree.
We moved past the incident, but it still weighs on my mind. Apologizing doesn’t erase mistakes, yet it models humility and kindness—values I want my children to learn. While I know that one slip-up won’t define his childhood, it’s essential for him to learn responsibility for his actions, too. That’s why he had to pick up the pillows and redo my bed afterward. If he can’t respect my belongings, he can enjoy some time away from my room.
Even when my child behaves in ways that test my patience, he deserves to be treated with respect. I wouldn’t call anyone else names in anger, so he shouldn’t be an exception. He’s an individual, not my possession, and I’m teaching him how to expect respect.
I may not be a perfect parent, but I can be a parent who apologizes. I know I’ll make many more mistakes while raising my children, but I will make it a point to apologize every time I recognize I’ve messed up—even if it’s uncomfortable for me. My children may remember my shortcomings, but I hope they also remember that I took ownership of my mistakes.
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In summary, being a parent is a journey filled with challenges and opportunities for growth. By apologizing to our children when we make mistakes, we model humility and teach them the importance of mutual respect and accountability.