Parenting is no easy feat, especially during these unprecedented times. Navigating the challenges of raising a preschooler amidst a global pandemic is particularly tough. It’s like being a fish out of water, trying to explain why their world has suddenly turned upside down—no parks, no playdates, and no swimming lessons.
How do you communicate the complexities of a surreal situation to a little one who is just beginning to understand the joys of life? My initial instinct was to say nothing at all. Let them enjoy their innocent childhood. But then reality hit when my three-year-old expressed sadness about not being able to see his friends anymore. That was a wake-up call.
So, I decided to turn to my trusty ally: pepper. Not a friend, but the spice. A few months earlier, we had attempted potty training during the holidays, thinking we could dedicate a few days at home to it. Looking back, it seems almost humorous now, given the months we’ve spent indoors. To make matters worse, right before the pandemic, my little one had started refusing to wash his hands. I tried everything—pleading, threatening, you name it. It was like a scene from Dante’s Inferno.
But then a friend shared a captivating video on social media demonstrating the magic of soap. In this experiment, a parent shows a child a bowl of water sprinkled with black pepper. When the child dips their finger in, it comes out covered in pepper. Then, with just a few drops of dish soap, the pepper scatters in all directions, illustrating the power of cleanliness.
That afternoon, in the midst of a hand-washing standoff, I decided to give it a go. I hoped this would resonate with my son. And to my surprise, it worked! Suddenly, he understood the need to wash his hands. Now, when he resists, I remind him about the pepper, and off he goes to wash.
As the days of sheltering in place stretched on, my son began to ask questions about our canceled activities. I was steadfast in my decision to avoid discussing COVID-19. After all, I thought, this would only last a few weeks. However, it dawned on me that I could use the pepper experiment to explain our situation. I told him the world was covered in pepper, and we needed to wait for the doctors and nurses to clean it up with soap. To my surprise, he nodded in understanding.
Weeks went by, and during our walks outside, he often asked if the pepper was still around. His acceptance of the situation was heart-wrenching and cute at the same time. Just last week, he panicked at the sight of a crow, worried it would get pepper. I briefly tried to explain the difference between cooking pepper and the “pepper” affecting our world, but I quickly realized I was confused myself and gave up.
If you’re struggling to explain the current situation to your young children, know you are not alone. These conversations are challenging and can bring you to your knees. Celebrate the little victories and take a deep breath during the tough moments. And to my son’s future partner, I apologize if he refuses pepper—that’s on me.
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In summary, while parenting during a pandemic is fraught with challenges, creative solutions like the pepper experiment can help make difficult conversations a bit easier and perhaps even lead to unexpected learning moments.