While I was scolding my kids to step away from their screens and engage in something more constructive, I stumbled upon a fascinating video during my relentless scrolling on Facebook. It featured a honey bee that had inadvertently gotten stuck in honey. When the beekeeper returned the bee to the hive, its fellow workers immediately sprang into action, diligently cleaning their friend. One bee tended to the face, while others focused on the wings and body, ensuring that the bee was soon ready to take flight again.
As someone who has never quite mastered coordination, I found myself captivated by the bees’ collective effort to aid a clumsy companion. It struck me as a profound metaphor for the friendships we all should cultivate. This curiosity led me to spend an hour diving into the world of honey bees.
Interestingly, honey bees seem to have a rather unorthodox social structure. They do not embrace democracy; instead, they are led by a queen bee who ascends to power through a rather dubious selection process. The worker bees essentially play a game of selection, leading to the birth of a queen who, without any qualifications, begins to exert control over the hive with her hormones. When her influence wanes, she is ousted, and a new queen is chosen. Over the years, I’ve encountered a few “honey bee” friends — the kind I’d prefer to avoid.
It’s essential to recognize that not everyone will resonate with you, and that’s perfectly okay. Acknowledging this took me time, but it’s a crucial lesson.
As I called out to my kids again, ensuring they weren’t squandering time on electronics, I found myself exploring the social structures of various animal species. To my delight, I discovered my true metaphorical group: elephants.
Elephant herds are composed of females, with a matriarch not appointed by vote but rather respected for her wisdom and experience. This leader earns her position through trust and sound judgment. Like any capable leader, she welcomes input from every member, even the youngest elephants. Each elephant contributes uniquely to the herd’s survival, whether by defending against threats or caring for young calves. Elephants are known to grieve for lost companions and have a remarkable capacity for empathy, recognizing each other even after long separations.
Strong friendships are invaluable, much like the bonds within an elephant herd. My own circle is a colorful blend of women — some are family, others share my name, and many friendships have endured through time, remaining strong despite distance. One friend even participated in drive-thru confession during quarantine, and you bet I plan to mention her at the pearly gates: “Hey God, could you double-check that list? My friend SH went to drive-thru confession!” Though I’ve never been to confession, the idea of confessing my sins like I order fast food is intriguing.
These friends are as diverse as day and night, yet they complement each other beautifully. I believe that everyone has a unique gift meant to be shared, and sometimes it takes time and trust for those gifts to shine through, much like the matriarch’s wisdom in an elephant herd.
It’s said that everyone has friends for different life stages, but only a fortunate few have that one friend who remains constant through it all. Among my circle, there’s one who has spent more time alongside me than apart. We’ve even shared moments in a hive, perhaps mingling with those honey bees. While I may not have a biological sister, I found my “soul sister.”
Together, we find humor in awkward situations, masking the pain that often lies beneath. She’s the friend who will stand with you through sunrises and sunsets, and sharing pain together is the most selfless gesture of friendship. Finding someone who can also make you laugh during tough times is a bond you should cherish.
As you navigate life, be sure to identify your parade. Surround yourself with those who will protect you, support you, and bring laughter during difficult moments. If you’re fortunate enough to find a kindred spirit, hold on tight — they are rare gems.
But please, for the love of all that is good, steer clear of those honey bees.
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Summary:
In friendships, identifying your true companions is crucial. Just as elephants thrive in supportive herds led by wise matriarchs, we too should cultivate relationships with individuals who uplift us and share in our experiences. It’s essential to find those who bring laughter and empathy into our lives, while avoiding toxic connections. Cherish your support network and ensure you have friends who stand by you through thick and thin.