I genuinely believe that “Mommy Brain” is a legitimate condition that many mothers experience. The haze of exhaustion can impair our decision-making, lead to forgetfulness, and leave us eagerly awaiting our kids’ bedtime so we can indulge in Netflix and snacks. I thought my Mommy Brain was overwhelming before the pandemic, but it seems to have intensified tenfold during this prolonged quarantine.
A Recent Experience
Take, for instance, last week. Due to the shelter-in-place orders, nearly all our scheduled medical appointments were either canceled or transitioned to telehealth. However, one appointment remained essential: dropping off my tween’s damaged retainer at the orthodontist. While we were enjoying lunch, my husband suddenly reminded me, “Aren’t we supposed to go to an appointment today?” I glanced at the clock and panicked—we had just nineteen minutes to reach the office across town.
Sure, I had noted the appointment in my planner, set a reminder on my phone, and even informed my daughter. But did that help me remember? Of course not. More often than not, when my phone alarm rings, I find myself asking everyone around me, “What’s that for again?”
Disrupted Routines
This new reality has wreaked havoc on my ability to remember the few essential outings we have left. My routine has been completely turned upside down. Before the state shut down, I was managing four kids in school, juggling numerous appointments, errands, and extracurricular activities. I would exhaust myself from dawn till dusk, collapsing into bed each night, only to rise early the next morning for another round of chaos.
Before COVID-19 disrupted our lives, we were so busy that any slip-up felt catastrophic, like knocking over the first domino and watching the rest cascade down. For those of us with larger families, each child’s individual schedule added to the pressure.
New Responsibilities
Now, with everything altered, mothers—who usually bear the brunt of household responsibilities—must reorganize the entire family dynamic. We’re balancing more roles than ever, including acting as our kids’ distance-learning educators. On top of that, we’re tasked with ensuring each child’s mental and emotional well-being amidst this crisis, as their worlds have been upended. Graduations and proms have been canceled, and many are missing their friends and teachers.
There’s simply no time for moms to pause and regroup. We might jot something down or set an alarm, but when the moment arrives, our minds are blank. Even with the orthodontist sending me multiple reminders—text, email, and a call—I still forgot about my appointment at 1:40 p.m. on a Tuesday. I struggle to recall what day it is anymore. Did I even have breakfast? How long have we been in quarantine? It feels like an eternity—2,687 days, to be exact.
Feeling Overwhelmed
Typically, I’m quite organized, but these days, I feel completely out of my depth. My children’s sleep patterns have been disrupted by quarantine anxiety, which leaves me restless as well. Every morning, I find at least ten school-related emails flooding my inbox. What’s the password for that learning app? Why is the Wi-Fi acting up? Who’s crying now? What’s for dinner? How can we already be out of coffee?
My kids have struggled with Zoom meetings, often joining late or missing them entirely. We’ve lost track of assignments, and with four different learning plans to manage, it’s a chaotic juggling act. I often don’t even start my own work until just before dinner, as my day is consumed by family needs.
Managing Mental Health
Not only am I a full-time mom, teacher, nurse, therapist, and wife, but I’m also grappling with my own generalized anxiety disorder, which fluctuates as usual. Many mothers face similar mental health challenges, making social isolation even more daunting. Activities that usually help us, like therapy or exercise, are often inaccessible or limited to sporadic moments.
I’m working hard to give myself grace during this challenging period. This unusual and sometimes unbearable situation has left many mothers feeling frustrated and exhausted, lost in a fog of responsibilities. Forgetting things has become the norm; our minds are overloaded with daily tasks and the emotional labor of managing family dynamics. We’re just trying to survive each hour, hoping we’re doing a decent job.
You Are Not Alone
If you find yourself in the same boat, know that you’re not alone. Almost every mother I’ve spoken to is navigating this chaos, hoping for a return to normalcy. Until then, let’s focus on what truly matters: the health and safety of our families. For more insights, check out this blog post that dives deeper into managing stress and finding balance.
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Summary
The pandemic has significantly heightened the mental demands on mothers, leading to increased forgetfulness and stress. As they juggle multiple roles—educator, caretaker, and emotional support—the pressure can feel overwhelming. Many moms are struggling to maintain a sense of normalcy and organization, often feeling lost in a fog of responsibilities. It’s essential for mothers to remember they’re not alone and to focus on the health and safety of their families during these challenging times.