My eldest son just finished another challenging day of online classes, and it’s become increasingly clear that he’s not a fan of traditional schooling. He finds sitting in a classroom for hours to be tedious, and his passion lies in being active—hitting the gym and engaging in hands-on work. For the past few years, he has been working as an apprentice plumber, often managing two jobs simultaneously—something he chooses willingly.
As he nears his senior year, there are no plans for him to attend college, and honestly, I couldn’t be happier for him. Of course, if he had expressed a desire to pursue higher education or a technical school, I would have fully supported that. Both my husband and I attended college, and we began saving for our children’s education with the assumption that they would want to follow a similar path.
However, parenting has taught me that assumptions can lead to disappointment. As children transition into their teenage years, it becomes essential to release those expectations unless you’re prepared for a daily struggle. I could insist he pursue a college degree, trying to steer his future despite his clear preferences. Instead, I’ve chosen to do what’s best for both of us: support his decisions and embrace the advantages of not going to college right away.
We won’t have to deal with the avalanche of paperwork, college essays, or the financial strain that comes with higher education. I’m not merely referring to the potential debt; navigating loans, financial aid, scholarships, and grants can be overwhelming. He won’t need to squeeze college applications into his already busy life. While I would have been there to assist him through the process, I’m relieved that he’s opted out. I can finally relax and enjoy the freedom that comes with his choice—something that feels rare in the parenting journey.
He has done his homework. He intends to enter the plumbing field and understands that he can graduate high school and embark on a fulfilling career without the burden of debt. It’s a straightforward decision for him; he has a clear plan. Unlike my own teenage years, where I followed the crowd and hoped things would work out, he knows precisely what he wants.
Furthermore, we realize that he can always choose to attend college later if he changes his mind. Just because he’s not going straight to school doesn’t mean he’s forfeiting his options. This autonomy allows him to explore his path without the pressure of parental expectations. He will never have to reflect on his choices and feel that he was pushed into something he didn’t want.
I believe in his decision and recognize how excited he is to graduate from high school and step into a life that feels authentic to him. He is eager to work, and I’ve never seen anyone so dedicated as he has been in the past few years. His job in the trades has brought him joy, and I refuse to hinder his happiness simply because society often views college as the next logical step after high school.
What seems right for one person may not resonate with another, and I’m not inclined to challenge him on what feels right for his life. It is his journey, not mine, and frankly, I lack the energy for a battle that would likely lead to frustration for both of us.
So, while many families will be preparing their children for college next year, my son and I will likely be exploring apartments or condos. He’ll be excited to wake up each day to a job he enjoys, where he feels capable and skilled. The greatest benefit of allowing my son to forge his own path is knowing he is genuinely happy. No scholarship or degree can compare to that feeling.
After all, isn’t happiness what we all wish for our children? How fortunate is he to discover it so early on, rather than feel pressured to follow a conventional path that doesn’t resonate with him?
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Summary
This article explores the author’s joy in supporting her son’s decision to forgo college after high school. Emphasizing his passion for plumbing and hands-on work, she appreciates his autonomy in choosing his career path. The piece highlights the importance of happiness over societal expectations and the freedom that comes with allowing children to make their own choices.