Yesterday, as my husband Jake sat next to me assembling a jigsaw puzzle—yes, this has become our new reality—I noticed a peculiar habit of his. He was inhaling through his nose in a way that sounded almost exaggerated, followed by an audible exhale through his mouth.
Okay, let’s be real! He was just breathing. But seriously, had he always been this loud? Was this a new development, or had I just been oblivious to it for the last decade? I shot him a look that could melt steel, and he quietly vacated the room.
In all honesty, I need him now more than ever. He’s the only one in our home who’s willing to venture out for groceries. His courage during these challenging times is truly commendable.
Before the lockdown, we had stocked our pantry with enough supplies to last a few weeks. Yet, our kids seem to be guzzling milk like there’s no tomorrow, so we needed to make a trip to the grocery store. Jake graciously volunteered to brave the supermarket. Since I usually handle most of the shopping, I decided to give him a list.
Here’s a glimpse of what I wrote:
- One crucial item
- One slightly less critical item
- Something I’ve never tried but now seems essential
- Toilet Paper
- White Wine
- Milk
- A few other less significant items
My husband set off on his mission, navigating the long line that stretched around the building for the one-in, one-out policy. After two hours, he returned. By then, our kids and I were parched and a tad irritable.
As I unpacked the groceries, I was shocked to discover just one standard bottle of white wine. Just one? In this time of quarantine, this was unacceptable! Panic set in.
He looked at me and said flatly, “Emily, you don’t even like white wine.”
Okay, fine! He was right. Red is my jam, and he knows that. But with the pandemic in full swing, I thought, why not try something new? Go a little wild, right?
Three hours later, we reached a compromise. I would clarify my grocery list to include “wines” in the plural, and he would just do as I ask.
This is just one of the countless ways the pandemic has tested our relationship in bizarre ways. Being isolated together has forced us into an unexpected closeness. And let’s not even get started on the kids!
Jake and I have been married for nearly a decade, yet most of that time has been spent juggling work and sleep. When I reflect on it, we typically spend about five hours a day together, mostly focused on getting meals ready, homework done, and kids to bed. Sure, we text and chat a bit during the day, but our face-to-face time is usually limited.
The quarantine has created a unique situation, not only for us but for countless couples who are self-isolating together. It has prompted us to ask questions we never considered before, like, “Why do you chew so loudly?” and “Do you really need to stand that close?”
In fact, during these strange times, when my two-year-old daughter misplaced my wedding ring last week, I was so overwhelmed that I nearly contemplated calling it quits—not the search, but the marriage itself. I was utterly spent, and I didn’t have the energy to deal with a wild goose chase. Perhaps a trial separation until I found my ring? Only my daughter found that hilarious.
I genuinely love Jake and appreciate him more than ever during this quarantine, but this arrangement is anything but normal. Our previous five hours together have now transformed into 16 hours (counting the eight glorious hours of sleep). Before the lockdown, we would spend around 300 hours together in six weeks. Now, we’ve clocked in 672 hours. That’s an extra 372 hours—equivalent to about 75 days!
That’s a significant amount of time to truly get to know someone. In the past few weeks, I’ve uncovered some surprising details about him, like how he stays on conference calls while using the restroom. He still wakes up at 6 a.m. for no apparent reason, dislikes closed blinds before 7 p.m., and will just shave off his beard without so much as a heads-up. Did he really think I could handle that change?
Equally, I’ve discovered much about myself. For instance, I can still sleep until 10 a.m. (yay!). I would close the blinds at 5 p.m. every day if I could. I tend to yell when stressed, and I bake to manage that stress.
Above all, I’ve realized that neither of us is perfect. We certainly don’t have everything figured out. But in a rather cliché manner, together, we truly have it all. We’re in this together.
Jake and I have been making plans to celebrate our ten-year wedding anniversary this fall, possibly with a trip to Napa or Mexico. However, I believe we don’t need to wait; we’ve already reached that milestone if we count our additional 75 days together. And trust me, I’m including every bit of it.
So, I’m about to pop open a bottle of white wine to toast to us and to all the couples navigating this bizarre time together—even if the word “home” now makes us cringe. These are indeed strange times, and we are fortunate to have each other to endure them with.
For more insights into navigating relationships during these times, check out this helpful article. And if you’re interested in understanding more about insemination methods, this resource is quite informative. For those seeking guidance on pregnancy and related topics, Healthline offers excellent resources.
Summary:
Quarantine has significantly changed my marriage with Jake, forcing us to spend nearly 16 hours a day together. While this has led to some humorous discoveries and challenges, it has also deepened our appreciation for each other. As we navigate these unprecedented times, we’re learning more about ourselves and each other, reaffirming that together, we can endure anything.