I’m a planner, and it’s my greatest strength. I thrive on organization and structure. In my family, I’m the one who has already arranged gifts for holidays, handled shopping, and wrapped everything long before anyone else even thinks about it. I manage our social gatherings, appointments, vacations, kids’ activities, and even our relaxation time. I collaborate with experts like the Planner Queen, Jessica Clear, for goodness’ sake!
But now, I find myself with nothing to plan.
As COVID-19 rapidly spreads across the globe, we are all urged to stay home, doing our part to combat this crisis. While my mind understands the necessity, I must admit that some days it struggles to cope. Planning has always been my anchor, and this pandemic has stripped away the very thing that keeps me grounded.
I have no idea when I’ll be able to plan again or how future planning may evolve. This crisis has shattered not only my meticulously crafted plans for the upcoming months but also those of millions around the world. Graduations, weddings, funerals, sporting events, and concerts—everything is canceled for the foreseeable future.
It’s no surprise that we feel anxious, unsettled, and uneasy. I worry about losing these meaningful moments and how they will affect me and society at large. Given that this situation is unprecedented, historical guidance is absent.
I recognize that many face severe hardships: financial stress, the obligation to work on the front lines despite a deadly virus looming, and the tragic reality of loss in hospital corridors. I’m not attempting to compare suffering; I simply believe it’s crucial to acknowledge the pain and disappointment stemming from these losses.
For a high school senior, missing graduation is devastating after four years of hard work. For an athlete called up to represent their state, missing a soccer tournament feels like a huge letdown. Losing a loved one and being unable to grieve surrounded by family is heart-wrenching.
These realities bring sadness and anxiety, and I’m acutely aware that the moments we’re losing carry significant consequences. A final semester of high school cannot be rescheduled; it’s simply gone. Personally, I thrive on human connection and experiences, and this loss has been exceptionally challenging.
To cope, I’m focusing on exercise and journaling, paying attention to my emotions—because they are many! I feel anxiety, sadness, frustration, anger, and fear. Yet, nestled within those unpleasant feelings, I occasionally experience happiness, contentment, and even joy.
I am choosing to view these “losses” as an opportunity for our family. We are spending uninterrupted weeks together, a rarity that may never happen again. With two teenage boys straddling the line between family life and seeking independence, I’m committed to creating meaningful memories and drawing us closer.
There’s a saying about how “the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry,” or perhaps something about how it’s rare for an event to be negative from all perspectives. Regardless, it’s evident that I have valuable lessons to learn during this time. I will practice self-compassion and delve into my feelings.
For more insights on navigating this period, check out our post on home insemination, which provides additional perspectives. Additionally, resources like this guide on the IVF process and information on alcohol and conception can be beneficial for those exploring family planning.
Summary:
As a dedicated planner, the unexpected halt of future events due to COVID-19 has left me feeling lost and anxious. While I acknowledge the grave impacts of this pandemic on many lives, I also see it as an opportunity for my family to bond and create lasting memories. By embracing self-care practices and reflecting on my feelings, I aim to navigate through this unprecedented time with resilience.