During my time as a stay-at-home mom to two toddlers, I often encountered well-meaning individuals who insisted I was “lucky.” Family, friends, and even acquaintances—particularly those who had never experienced the demands of being a stay-at-home parent—would frequently remind me of my supposed fortune in being able to care for my children full-time. However, these comments were not only patronizing but also fundamentally misrepresentative of the reality of parenting young kids.
Claiming that a stay-at-home parent is lucky undermines the hard choices and sacrifices that come with that decision. Luck is an external factor; it’s winning a game of chance or being born into advantageous circumstances. In contrast, becoming a stay-at-home parent often stems from a deliberate choice made in the best interest of the family, even if it comes at a personal cost.
For some, staying home is a financial necessity due to insufficient income from their jobs to cover childcare expenses. This scenario can be incredibly challenging, as even low-paying jobs provide a sense of identity and social interaction that many don’t realize they miss until it’s gone. While I refer to “people” rather than just “women” in this context, it’s worth noting that statistics show more women tend to become stay-at-home parents, largely due to the pay disparity with their male counterparts. For instance, a 2016 Pew Research Center article indicated that only 4-7% of fathers stayed home with their children, compared to 27% of mothers.
I often felt judged for my career choice as a newspaper reporter, with many questioning the value of my job in relation to childcare costs. Male colleagues rarely faced such scrutiny, as childcare arrangements typically fell to their spouses.
Let’s be clear: staying home with toddlers is no small feat. It can feel like a constant battle of endurance, especially when sleep-deprivation becomes the norm. You find yourself cleaning, playing referee, and dealing with countless emotional outbursts from pint-sized individuals. It’s akin to being quarantined, with limited places to escape, often making it easier to just stay put.
However, I have some encouraging news: it does get easier. I remember a conversation with a fellow mother when my son was just a few months old. She looked at me with understanding and shared, “It never gets easier.” But that has not been my experience. My children are now 11 and 14, and during this quarantine period, my biggest struggle is coaxing them away from their devices long enough to enjoy a walk together.
Sure, I still grapple with loneliness and boredom, but my kids are now capable of engaging conversations, which makes for much better company. While I still face sleepless nights and haven’t managed to draft the next great American novel, the constant demands of caregiving have diminished significantly.
In short, being quarantined with tweens is far more manageable than the chaos of raising toddlers. My heart goes out to those navigating the challenges of very young children during these times. I empathize every time I pass a playground closed off for safety. Just remember, it will improve. You’re not just lucky; you’re resilient and doing your best.
For more insights on parenting and home insemination, check out our other blog posts. One excellent resource for understanding pregnancy can be found at the CDC, which offers a wealth of information on reproductive health. You can also learn more about home insemination from experts at Intracervical Insemination.
Summary:
Navigating quarantine with tweens is simpler compared to managing toddlers. Despite the challenges of being a stay-at-home parent, particularly with young children, it often leads to profound personal growth and resilience. Over time, the demands lessen, allowing for more meaningful interactions and personal time. Resources like the CDC provide valuable information to support parents during this journey.