When it comes to parenting wisdom, it’s crucial to choose your sources wisely. Take a character like Marge Wiggins, for example; she offers lessons in nurturing, love, and fostering growth in her kids. Plus, her unique hairstyle is a style statement all on its own, reaching impressive heights.
On the other hand, advice from someone like Homer Wiggins could lead you down a questionable path. If he weren’t such an endearing goofball and animated icon, there might be cause for concern. Yet, it’s precisely his misguided parenting mixed with a heart of gold that has made this family a staple of American culture for over three decades (sorry, Kardashians). Their most memorable quotes continue to resonate, with nearly 10,000 searches for quotes from the show each month. To celebrate Marge and Homer, we’ve compiled a list of the funniest and most outrageous quotes about parenting and raising kids. After all, if you can’t find humor in the chaos, what can you do?
- Lisa: “Dad, don’t you ever want to try something different?”
Homer: “Oh Lisa, trying is just the first step toward failing.” - “The saddest moment of my life was realizing I could outdo my dad at most things, and Bart figured that out at four.” — Homer
- “To succeed in parenting, don’t overthink it. Overthinking leads to… what were we talking about?” — Homer
- Bart: “Dad, you’re risking my life to save your own.”
Homer: “One day you’ll understand, son, when you have kids.” - “Well, it’s 1 am. Time to head home and spend some quality time with the kids.” — Homer
- “Kids, just because I’m not concerned doesn’t mean I’m not listening.” — Homer
- “D’oh!” — Homer
- “Marriage is like a coffin, and each child is just another nail.” — Homer
- Homer: “But Lisa, if this works, all of Daddy’s lies will come true. Don’t you wish they would?”
Lisa: “I want a daddy who lives in reality!”
Homer: “To Daddy, reality gets blurrier every day…” - “I hope you’ve learned your lesson, Lisa: never help anyone.” — Homer
- “Ah, now it’s time for some quality time away from my family.” — Homer
- “Kids are wonderful! You can teach them to despise what you despise!” — Homer
- “There’s no shame in being an outcast.” — Marge
- “Our differences are merely superficial; our similarities run deep.” — Marge
- Bart: [hitting Lisa] “Don’t hit Maggie; she’s just a baby.”
Homer: [hitting Bart] “Don’t hit Lisa; she’s a girl.”
Grandpa: [hitting Homer] “Keep your hands off him, Homer!” - “Marge, can I go out and play?” — Homer
- Lisa: “History is written by the victors, Dad.”
Homer: “I thought losers wrote it.” - Bart: “I’m done working. Working is for suckers.”
Homer: “Son, I’m proud of you. I was twice your age when I figured that out.” - Marge: “We can’t fit another child in this house.”
Homer: “We’ll let Bart share a room with Lisa until he leaves home.”
Marge: “Won’t that mess him up?”
Homer: “It didn’t mess up my Uncle Frank.”
Marge: “What happened to him?”
Homer: “He joined a cult. I think he’s Mother Shabooboo now.” - Bart: “Homer, your half-hearted parenting is easier to tolerate than your overzealous parenting.”
Homer: “But I’m using my full effort!” - “Kids are fantastic. You can instill in them a dislike for everything you dislike. Besides, they practically raise themselves nowadays with the internet.” — Homer
- “As I always say, a child learns more in an airport than in any school.” — Homer
- “Lisa, come back before everyone realizes what a terrible father I am!” — Homer
- “Why you little!” — Homer
- “I don’t want to alarm anyone, but I suspect there’s a bit of al-key-hol in this punch.” — Marge
- Homer: “I’m sorry, Marge, but sometimes I think we’re the worst family in the neighborhood.”
Marge: “Maybe we should move to a bigger community.” - Homer: “Lord help me, I’m just not that bright.”
Marge: “Oh Homer, don’t say that. If you raised three kids capable of knocking out a stranger, you must be doing something right.” - Marge: “Hello, everyone. Halloween is bizarre. Personally, I don’t get it. Kids worshiping ghosts and pretending to be devils. And the TV shows that are completely unsuitable for children. The next half-hour will be quite scary. So if you have sensitive children, tucking them in early might be wise instead of sending us angry letters tomorrow.”
- Homer: “How’s it going? Peace be with you! Praise Jebus!”
- Homer: “That was the most amazing experience of my life! Now, to find my family, save my town, and lose ten pounds!”
- “You don’t win friends with salad.” — Homer when Lisa decides to become vegetarian
- “I seem to be filled with rage.” — Marge
- “I hope you understand I’m too stressed to pretend I like you.” — Marge
- “You know, while the court system may be failing, as long as everyone is recording everyone else, justice will prevail.” — Marge
- “C’mon Marge, we’re a team. It’s ‘uter-us’ not ‘uter-you.’” — Homer
- Edna: “Your boys weren’t delivered by the stork.”
Flanders: “Yes they were! We picked Dr. Stork on purpose so we could say it without lying.” - Rod: “Daddy, what are you doing?”
Ned: “Trying to persuade strangers to pressure the government to punish a man who meant no harm for something nobody has ever seen.”
Rod: “Daddy, we think you need a new mommy.”
Ned: “First things first!” - Ned: “Dinner time, boys!”
Rod: “Oh boy! Liver!”
Todd: “Iron helps us play!”
For more insights and tips on parenting, check out our other blog post at this link. You can also find authoritative information on this topic at this link, and for additional resources, visit this link.
In summary, these quotes from the Wiggins family provide a humorous reflection on the ups and downs of parenting. While some advice may seem questionable, the love and laughter shared in these moments remind us that parenting is a journey filled with both challenges and joy.