As a parent, I’ve openly discussed the hurdles of juggling remote work with my children’s education. Our first day of homeschooling was chaotic—three kids vying for attention while I tried to manage my workload. Yet, I consider myself fortunate; my job allows me to work from home.
However, for many women and children, the current situation is far more dire. They are confined to their homes with their abuser, creating one of the most harrowing scenarios imaginable. Leaving an abusive relationship is already challenging under normal circumstances, but the pandemic has made it even more perilous.
This issue is not limited to the United States; it’s a global crisis. Reports from The New York Times indicate that countries like China and the United Kingdom experienced rises in domestic violence incidents as the pandemic unfolded. Katie Ray-Jones, CEO of the National Domestic Violence Hotline, noted a decline in calls, from 1,800 to approximately 1,700 daily. This drop isn’t due to a decrease in violence but rather because victims have fewer opportunities to reach out for help.
In stark contrast, KUTV reported that the Salt Lake City Police Department saw a 33% increase in domestic violence calls since the stay-at-home orders began in Utah. With everyone spending extended time indoors, for some individuals—particularly children—home has become the most dangerous place to be. Many are losing jobs, and others, like myself, are navigating the complexities of remote work while caring for children full-time. While these measures are necessary for public health, they exacerbate tensions in abusive households and force children to witness violence or even become targets themselves. Work and school, once safe havens, have been stripped away for many.
While I cannot change the actions of abusers, I can share resources and hope. Despite the widespread lockdowns, domestic violence support services remain available. For instance, shelters in New York City are classified as “essential services” and continue to operate. However, many providers are shifting to hotlines, virtual consultations, and digital services due to health concerns. The Utah Domestic Violence Coalition has also transitioned to online services, remaining available 24/7.
The challenge lies in the difficulty of reaching out for help when one is in constant proximity to an abuser. Victims typically wait for moments of solitude to seek assistance—when the abuser is at work or the children are at school. Unfortunately, these opportunities have diminished.
Advice for those in such situations can be hard to digest. Ray-Jones suggests identifying a safe space in the home during arguments, avoiding areas that could be weaponized, such as kitchens and bathrooms. It’s crucial to prepare for scenarios where an abuser may withhold essential items like soap. Some abusers monitor their victim’s communications to prevent them from seeking help. In these cases, Ruth Glenn, CEO of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, recommends confiding in a trusted friend or family member who can reach out to a hotline on the victim’s behalf. In emergencies, it’s imperative to call 911.
Staying at home is vital for curbing the spread of COVID-19, but it’s creating severe hardships for victims of domestic violence. If you know someone in an abusive situation, it’s essential to check in, offer support, and share resources. If you find yourself in such a situation, remember you are not alone—help is still available. Seek assistance, prioritize your safety, and lean on friends and family who can facilitate your escape. Resources are a lifeline during these challenging times. You are valued.
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Summary:
Women and children are increasingly finding themselves trapped at home with their abusers during the pandemic. While services for domestic violence victims remain available, reaching out for help is more challenging than ever. It’s crucial for friends and family to provide support and resources to those affected.