When my first child was born, she arrived just two days late but quickly outpaced her peers in reaching milestones. She got her first tooth by three months, rolled over, sat up, pulled herself up, and crawled—all by six months. It wasn’t long before she was confidently walking around the house with a push toy. I couldn’t help but cheer her on; there was something undeniably charming about watching a tiny, bald child scuttle from room to room. By nine months, she was walking independently, and I found myself feeling quite proud of her achievements.
In hindsight, I realize I let my pride morph into a misguided sense of superiority. I thought my child was exceptional, on the path to athletic greatness, and I assumed everyone else would be equally impressed by my little prodigy. But I was being foolish.
Like many first-time parents, I placed too much importance on those early milestones. It all began with her birth statistics—her weight, height, and head circumference. I found myself obsessing over those numbers as if they would dictate her future happiness, intelligence, or financial success. Why did I care so much that her head was in the 80th percentile for newborns? Because I was gripped by the notion that her health and my parenting success hinged on arbitrary charts that I barely understood. Parenting is daunting, and comparing her progress to that of her peers provided a false sense of validation that I was doing a good job. When my child walked earlier than her daycare friends, I mistakenly believed it was proof that she was more than just “normal”—she was remarkable.
However, the truth is, she was simply on one end of a broad spectrum of what’s considered “normal” in child development. According to the World Health Organization, children typically start walking around their first birthday, with early walkers beginning as early as eight months and late walkers taking their first steps around 18 months. This range is significant, and it’s essential to remember that a child walking at nine months is just as “normal” as one who takes their first steps at 18 months. Early mobility doesn’t provide an advantage over peers who develop at their own pace.
Research from the Swiss National Science Foundation (SNSF) has shown that there’s no correlation between early walking and higher intelligence or coordination. By the time kids reach school age, developmental differences tend to even out. There is no evidence linking the timing of milestones such as walking or sitting up to performance on intelligence or motor skills tests later in life.
It’s crucial to reassess what we consider typical when evaluating a child’s health or normalcy. Some children may never reach certain milestones or do so in unconventional ways, yet that doesn’t indicate any deficiency. A child may face challenges in walking or talking, or have delays in fine motor skills, but that doesn’t mean they are unhealthy. We must not complicate their experiences by comparing them to standardized growth charts. Parents should never be labeled as negligent or uninformed if their children seem to be developing at a different pace.
I fell into the trap of boasting about my child’s milestones as if they were a reflection of my parenting abilities. Those early teeth made breastfeeding challenging, and her newfound mobility just meant she could get into more trouble around the house. The timing of these milestones had nothing to do with my parenting skills. Yet when my twin boys were born two years later, I found myself anxious when they didn’t walk until they were a year old, and I even fretted when one twin walked before the other. Ironically, while my oldest daughter was the first to walk, she is the least coordinated among the three.
Parenting is an extraordinary journey filled with highs and lows. The desire to have children is a powerful instinct, but the reality of parenting can be overwhelming. We often seek validation from milestones, but let’s not turn these achievements into a competition. It’s perfectly fine to trust your instincts if your child is developing at a slower pace than others. If you have concerns, consult your pediatrician. They may help alleviate your worries and remind you to take a deep breath. Just remember, there’s no need to brag.
For more insights into parenting and development, check out this article from our blog. For authoritative information on child development, visit Intracervical Insemination and the CDC’s resources.
In summary, it’s essential to recognize that every child develops at their own pace. Comparing milestones can lead to unnecessary pressure and anxiety for both parents and children. Focus on providing support and love, rather than striving for a competitive edge.