I recently came across a flyer from my son’s school promoting a 1920s-themed gala. While I was skimming through the details, my eldest daughter chimed in, “Mom, you really shouldn’t attend that.” Confused, I asked her why, and she replied, “Because that image is cultural appropriation,” pointing to a clipart depiction of a flapper girl adorned with feathers. I was taken aback and asked her to clarify. She explained, “It’s the feathers.”
I took the opportunity to explain that the flapper girl wasn’t an example of cultural appropriation—a concept we had discussed recently while observing fans of the Kansas City Chiefs wearing feathered headdresses and face paint during a tomahawk chant. I felt proud that my daughter was learning about significant modern racial terms that could help us engage in meaningful discussions.
As a white woman raising black children, our unique family dynamic has created numerous opportunities to explore discussions around race more deeply than many other families might. We often attract attention, sometimes receiving curious glances or direct inquiries about our multiracial family. Occasionally, we encounter strangers who insist they don’t see color, or white women who ask my daughters about their cornrows with comments like, “How long did that take? I could never sit still for hours!”
I appreciate having a vocabulary to articulate these experiences rather than just feelings devoid of words. Understanding terminology enables us to engage more constructively with others when they approach our family. However, it’s not solely families of color who benefit from this race-conscious language. The more individuals—both adults and children—who grasp and utilize these terms, the more progress we can make collectively. After all, avoiding conversations about race has led us to stagnation.
White Privilege
Let’s address this head-on: if you are white, you possess white privilege. This term refers to the societal advantages that accompany being perceived as the norm in America, as well as the unearned benefits a white individual can rely on daily, often without awareness. I’ve seen white privilege in action firsthand. For instance, I can walk through a store with a reusable bag, confidently filling it with items, without fear of being followed or questioned by store employees. My children, however, do not share this same experience—their skin color often leads to suspicion and scrutiny.
Colorblindness
Let me clarify: claiming racial colorblindness is a myth. While I recognize it can refer to a medical condition for some, the belief that ignoring race equates to being non-racist and advocating for equality is misguided. Dismissing my children’s race means denying an integral part of their identity. Ignoring our differences by asserting we are all the same does not promote anti-racism; it simply reveals a lack of understanding.
The Race Card
The phrase “The Race Card” often emerges when a person of color calls out racism, with some white individuals dismissively suggesting that the person is leveraging their race for personal gain. I’ve encountered this reaction many times when confronting racist behavior. It’s crucial to recognize that racism is deeply entrenched in our society, and just because one hasn’t personally experienced a form of discrimination does not negate its validity.
Microaggressions
Microaggressions consist of subtle remarks or actions related to an individual’s membership in a marginalized group, often rooted in stereotypes. These incidents occur casually and frequently in daily life, and they are not a milder form of racism. For example, my children often face microaggressions from white strangers who feel entitled to touch their hair, claiming curiosity. Other instances include mispronouncing a person of color’s name or assuming that a black individual excels in basketball or that an Asian person is naturally skilled in math.
White Fragility
Discussing racial issues can create discomfort for white individuals because it compels them to confront their privilege and complicity. When faced with this discomfort, many defensively react—expressing anger, fear, or guilt, arguing, remaining silent, or even withdrawing from the conversation. This shifts the focus away from racial injustice to the white person’s feelings. For instance, when a black person expresses anguish over police violence, a white person might respond with “all lives matter,” sidestepping the conversation about racial profiling and discrimination.
Cultural Appropriation vs. Cultural Appreciation
Cultural appropriation occurs when someone appropriates elements from one culture for their own benefit without understanding or respecting its significance. A notable example is a young white celebrity sharing a photo of her cornrows to gain attention, while cornrows have a rich history as a protective hairstyle in black culture. In contrast, cultural appreciation involves engaging with another culture respectfully, without personal gain or exploitation. For example, instead of creating a nursery inspired by nature with mass-produced items, one could choose to purchase artwork from Indigenous artists to enhance their home.
By familiarizing ourselves with these race-related terms, we can engage in more fruitful discussions about race in our homes, schools, workplaces, and communities. As Maya Angelou wisely stated, when we know better, we do better. For additional insights, you can check out this helpful resource on pregnancy and explore other relevant topics.
In summary, understanding race-related terminology is vital for fostering inclusive conversations and promoting awareness around issues of race and privilege. By embracing these discussions, we can work towards a more equitable society.