Whether you adore them or can’t stand them, if you’re married, you have to confront your in-laws, for better or for worse. Yes, we’re delving into the often tumultuous world of in-law dynamics.
When we enter a marriage, we also take on our spouse’s family. While this can be a wonderful addition, many in our Confessional community express the opposite sentiment. Though we cherish our partners, our feelings toward their relatives can be quite different. It’s baffling how someone as fantastic as our spouse could emerge from a family that seems so… well, difficult.
The Confessional is filled with people grappling with complex feelings about their in-laws.
Confessional #20092605
: “Being around my in-laws is draining. They shout over each other, never finish their thoughts, and it’s just unbearable.”
Research led by Cambridge University psychologist Terri Apter highlights that in-laws are a significant source of marital tension; about 60% of married women report constant stress due to their partner’s mother.
Confessional #17421153
: “I can’t recall the last time I dreamed about my husband. Instead, I dream of his awful mother, and I’m literally punching her in the face throughout. Clearly, my feelings about her are evident.”
Confessional #15674102: “I wish I could experience what it’s like to actually enjoy my in-laws and share a fun rapport with them. I can’t even tolerate being in the same room with mine.”
Forget about having a serene family holiday with the in-laws.
Confessional #22914405
: “I’d rather have norovirus than spend Easter with my in-laws. I despise throwing up, but I despise them even more.”
Confessional #14674498: “I’m trying to figure out how to get out of visiting the in-laws tomorrow. We just saw them last Thanksgiving; isn’t that enough for a few years?!?”
Confessional #19107784: “I dread spending the holidays with people who can’t stand me, even though I’m fabulous. Yes, those are my in-laws.”
Some individuals go to great lengths to avoid in-law gatherings altogether.
Confessional #20973925
: “I’m expecting baby #4 this fall. I keep having fall babies to dodge my in-laws during the holidays. I suspect my husband is catching on.”
When it comes to in-laws, sometimes just being near them triggers involuntary reactions in our bodies.
Confessional #13545456
: “Years ago, I quietly farted in front of my in-laws. I’m not sure if they noticed, but I’m haunted by it to this day.”
Confessional #25764789: “My in-laws make me so anxious that I feel sick the whole time I’m at their house.”
Perhaps it’s their tendency to offer unsolicited advice about how we raise our children, manage our homes, or spend our finances.
Confessional #19535825
: “I am so tired of my sister-in-law telling me how to take care of my daughter: put sunscreen on her, get her hat, make sure she wears a sweater because she’s cold. Enough already!”
Confessional #16022958: “Dear mother-in-law, your passive-aggressive remarks about how we don’t do things the way you would are getting rather irritating. We appreciate you, but could you please stop?”
Or maybe it’s their habits—quirks they seem blissfully unaware of, but which we find incredibly rude or downright shocking.
Confessional #22680674
: “Dinner with my in-laws is a nightmare. My father-in-law eats like he’s never seen food before, and my mother-in-law talks with her mouth full while picking her teeth and sucking on the leftovers. It’s gross.”
Confessional #25747696: “I don’t want to visit my in-laws because they blast Fox News and Rush Limbaugh at ear-splitting volumes. That’s my version of hell.”
Confessional #16012749: “My mother-in-law cleaned the grill with a toilet brush. She justified it by saying she cleaned the toilet with bleach, so the brush is clean. I threw the grill away.”
Confessional #21700749: “If cleanliness is next to godliness, my in-laws are definitely in trouble.”
Confessional #15906340: “My sister-in-law, her husband, and their kids all eat with their mouths open. Dining with them sounds like a trip to the farm. Disgusting!”
Confessional #13993991: “My in-laws are so traditional that they address each other as ‘Mother’ and ‘Father.’ Hearing a grown man refer to the woman he sleeps with as ‘Mother’ really creeps me out.”
Or perhaps it’s their habit of making plans as if they’re the only family that exists.
Confessional #16457202
: “I’m exhausted from catering to my in-laws’ schedule. My family matters too!”
Confessional #17158584: “In-laws, I’m sorry none of you can seem to get your act together to make decisions. We’re busy people and can’t just sit around waiting for you to invite us somewhere. Make plans in advance, or we might not be able to go. My family counts too.”
Whether we only see them a few times a year or on a daily basis, we all have our coping mechanisms for in-law drama.
Confessional #18568812
: “My in-laws are convinced that the old house we moved into is haunted. My mother-in-law refuses to set foot inside it. I might never leave…”
Confessional #25750319: “I’ve learned that if you want to restore someone’s hearing, just mutter something nasty about them. My father-in-law struggles to hear me when I’m right next to him, but he clearly heard me say ‘Drop dead’ from across the room.”
Don’t be misled into thinking all in-law relationships are combative; many share their love for their spouse’s families as well.
Confessional #22396340
: “My previous in-laws were intolerant zealots, hateful and hypocritical. My current in-laws are warm, welcoming, and progressive. They have embraced me and my son like we’re family. I’m grateful for their kindness.”
Confessional #16244275: “I genuinely adore my in-laws more than my own parents. It’s part of why I married my husband. I love him, but if he hadn’t come with this wonderful family, I might have kept looking.”
Confessional #10337565: “In a twist of fate, my wife and I both like our in-laws, yet we need to remind each other to be nice to our own parents.”
Confessional #5128892: “I prefer my in-laws over my mom.”
Confessional #17523413: “My siblings and father are racist jerks. I can’t stand them. I married into a different culture, and I absolutely love my in-laws.”
Confessional #19282762: “My in-laws are a million times kinder, more supportive, and more of a real family than my biological family.”
Regardless of how you feel about your in-laws—even if they are genuinely lovely individuals—the old saying by Benjamin Franklin, “Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days” rings particularly true when it comes to in-laws.
Confessional #21710380
: “My in-laws are decent folks, but it’s been three days. Please get out of my house.”
This article was first published on March 3, 2020.
For more insights and shared experiences, check out our other posts, including the one on single mothers. For authoritative information on related topics, visit Intracervical Insemination or explore Science Daily’s health section.
Summary
Navigating the complexities of in-law relationships can be a challenge for many married individuals. While some experience significant stress and discomfort around their in-laws, others find warmth and acceptance. From unsolicited advice to awkward habits, the range of experiences shared in the Confessional illustrates the highs and lows of these family dynamics. Ultimately, no matter how harmonious or strained the relationship, the need for boundaries and personal space remains essential.