If you’re married, you know the drill: you gain a whole new set of family members. That’s right, we’re diving into the wild world of in-laws. When you tie the knot, you also inherit your spouse’s family, which can be a blessing but, more often than not, a source of frustration. While many of us adore our partners, we don’t always share the same sentiments about their families. It often leaves us scratching our heads, wondering how the people who raised such an incredible person can be so, well, not so great.
In the Confessional, we hear a range of emotions about in-laws.
Confessional #30012345
“Being around my in-laws is exhausting. They all talk at once, and it’s just chaos. It’s unbearable.”
Research indicates that in-laws contribute significantly to marital stress, with about 60% of married women reporting ongoing tension from their spouse’s mothers, according to psychologist Terri Apter.
Confessional #27421045
“I can’t recall the last time I dreamed of my husband. Instead, I keep dreaming about his awful mother, and I’m literally fighting her in my sleep. Clearly, I have some unresolved feelings.”
Confessional #25683070
“I wish I could experience what it feels like to actually enjoy my in-laws and have a good relationship with them. I can hardly tolerate being in the same room.”
And let’s be honest, enjoying a harmonious family gathering with in-laws? Forget it.
Confessional #30023456
“I’d rather deal with a nasty stomach virus than spend Easter at my in-laws. I despise vomiting, but they’re even worse.”
Confessional #27461230
“I’m contemplating how to avoid visiting the in-laws tomorrow. We just saw them last Thanksgiving. Isn’t that enough for a couple of years?”
Confessional #18293456
“I dread spending holidays with people who don’t like me, and trust me, the feeling is mutual. Yes, I’m talking about my in-laws.”
Some take avoidance to extreme measures.
Confessional #21876543
“We’re expecting baby #4 this fall, and I keep timing our pregnancies to avoid holiday visits to my in-laws. I think my husband is catching on.”
And let’s talk about the physical toll of being around them.
Confessional #14327890
“Years ago, I accidentally let out a quiet fart in front of my in-laws. I don’t know if they caught it, but it still haunts me.”
Confessional #30045678
“My in-laws make me so anxious that I feel nauseous the entire time I’m at their house.”
Perhaps it’s their constant unsolicited advice on how to raise our kids, manage our home, and spend our finances, which is none of their business.
Confessional #19568432
“I’m over my sister-in-law barking orders about how to care for my daughter: ‘Put on sunscreen, grab her hat, she’s cold!’ For the love of all that’s holy, be quiet!”
Confessional #17123456
“Dear mother-in-law, your passive-aggressive remarks about how we should do things your way are becoming quite irritating. We love you, but please cut it out.”
Then there are their habits—things they don’t even notice but we find utterly bizarre or rude.
Confessional #24678123
“Dining with my in-laws is a nightmare. My father-in-law eats like he’s never seen food before, and my mother-in-law talks while shoving food in her mouth and picking her teeth. It’s revolting.”
Confessional #27456345
“I can’t stand visiting my in-laws. They blast Fox News at deafening levels. That’s my personal hell.”
Confessional #16487953
“My mother-in-law cleaned the grill with a toilet brush and justified it by saying the brush was bleached. I threw the grill away.”
Confessional #19876543
“If cleanliness is next to godliness, my in-laws are in serious trouble.”
Confessional #13967580
“My sister-in-law, her husband, and their kids all chew with their mouths open. Mealtime sounds like feeding time at a farm. Gross!”
Confessional #17423985
“My in-laws are so old-fashioned they call each other ‘Mother’ and ‘Father.’ It weirds me out to hear a grown man addressing the woman he sleeps with as ‘Mother’.”
Or it could be that they act as if they’re the only ones who exist when it comes to making family plans, disregarding the other side completely.
Confessional #16273928
“I’m so fed up with catering to my in-laws’ schedule. My family matters too!”
Confessional #18567890
“In-laws, it’s frustrating that none of you can get organized enough to make plans. We are busy and can’t just wait for your invites. My family matters too; it’s not just about you!”
Whether we see them infrequently or on a daily basis, we all have our coping mechanisms for the in-law drama.
Confessional #20123456
“My in-laws believe the old house we moved into is haunted. My mother-in-law won’t even step inside it. I might never leave!”
Confessional #20098765
“I discovered that muttering something nasty about someone can surprisingly restore their hearing. My father-in-law has trouble hearing me, but he picked up on my muttered ‘Drop dead’ from across the room.”
However, not everyone has a negative relationship with their in-laws.
Confessional #27654321
“My former in-laws were intolerable, but my current in-laws are warm, kind, and progressive. They’ve embraced me and my son like family. I’m incredibly grateful for their love.”
Confessional #18765430
“I adore my in-laws more than my own parents. It’s one reason I married my husband. If he hadn’t come with such a fantastic family, I might have continued searching.”
Confessional #23456789
“In an ironic twist, my wife and I love our in-laws but need to remind each other to be nice to our own parents.”
Confessional #19876541
“I like my in-laws more than my own mother.”
Confessional #20087654
“My siblings and father are awful people. I married into a different culture and I absolutely adore my new in-laws.”
Confessional #18923456
“My in-laws are infinitely kinder and more supportive than my family of origin.”
Regardless of your feelings about them—good or bad—the old saying by Benjamin Franklin holds true: “Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.” This is especially applicable to in-laws.
Confessional #27654321
“My in-laws are genuinely nice, but it’s been three days. Please, it’s time to leave.”
For more stories and insights about family dynamics, check out this post here. Also, for further guidance on preconception health, visit this site. And for excellent resources on family planning and home insemination, explore this link.
Summary
The love-hate relationship with in-laws is common among married couples, with many experiencing significant stress and annoyance. While some dread family gatherings, others cherish their in-laws and enjoy strong relationships. Regardless of the dynamics, both sides agree that extended visits can be overwhelming.