I said “I do” on a hot July day. My partner and I had been dating for four years before getting engaged, spending a year planning our wedding. On our wedding day, I was just 21, and he was 24.
We first crossed paths when I was 16, still with a boyfriend, while he had recently become single. Our connection was instant, and our first date was that very evening. We shared hot chocolate at Denny’s, and he graciously paid for my drink, leaving a lasting impression on me. My parents, however, were skeptical. I was in high school, and my boyfriend was in college—why was he dating someone younger?
As time passed, they grew fond of him. He was everything my previous boyfriends weren’t—thoughtful, respectful, and always ready to lend a hand. He even took the time to engage with my younger siblings and helped my dad with outdoor chores. Plus, he listened to my mom’s reminders about curfews. He was reliable and trustworthy.
Our love blossomed quickly. Sure, we were young and a bit naive, believing in the fairy-tale notion that love triumphs over everything. While he completed college and I finished high school, our relationship flourished alongside our individual ambitions.
Once he graduated and landed a job in St. Louis, I eagerly anticipated our reunions. Weekend visits and late-night calls were not enough. As a junior in college, I was ready for the next chapter. On a family vacation, he proposed to me at sunset on the beach, and I instantly said yes—cue the romantic music!
Just eleven months later, we were married and enjoying our life together. We embraced adulthood, with him working full-time while I wrapped up my undergraduate studies. We had our own apartment, enjoyed lazy weekends, traveled, and learned to cook—though we also discovered how to quickly clear a kitchen filled with smoke!
There were many challenges along the way. My husband faced sudden job loss but soon found another position. I battled an autoimmune condition after a lengthy illness while juggling grad school and my first teaching job. We navigated the loss of grandparents and tackled the significant test of buying our first home.
Looking back, our arguments were often trivial and self-focused. Despite years together, we hadn’t yet grasped how to fully understand each other. At the time, we were still developing, both mentally and emotionally. Nevertheless, our commitment to making our marriage work was strong.
By today’s standards, we might have been considered too young to marry. Recently, our eldest child, now a tween, asked if it was true you can’t marry before turning 30. We laughed and joked about it. Honestly, I wouldn’t want my children to rush into marriage during their college years.
Now in my late thirties and my husband in his early forties, we often get asked about the secrets to a lasting marriage. Many friends have experienced divorce, some multiple times. My response is simple: time will reveal all. Our journey began when I was still a teenager, but those early years were significant. We grew together during that time, facing life’s ups and downs hand in hand.
Marriage can be challenging. There are days when we might not even like each other, often over minor grievances like soap left in the sink. But through it all, my husband has been my rock. He stood by me during my diabetes diagnosis, four adoptions, my breast cancer journey, job losses, and my chronic anxiety. He’s a true keeper.
I hope we’re setting a good example for our kids of what a healthy, loving partnership looks like. There are days when romance takes a backseat, but the authenticity and commitment remain strong. While I wouldn’t encourage my children to marry young, I certainly don’t regret saying “I do” at 21. There are far worse decisions than committing to the one you love.
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In summary, marrying young has its challenges, but it can also lead to a deeply fulfilling partnership. Commitment, growth, and shared experiences can outweigh the pitfalls of early marriage.