Updated: July 2, 2020
Originally Published: Feb. 27, 2020
When I decided to stop drinking two years ago, it felt like a drastic move. Unlike many who thrive on breaking rules or taking risks, I spent most of my life trying to shrink myself to fit in—always seeking approval from those around me. I was the person who would agree to anything, had no boundaries, and avoided conflict at all costs, even struggling to choose a restaurant when asked. Yet, here I was, boldly going against the grain of everyone I knew.
Being part of the majority often blinds you to how your actions are perceived by others. In my drinking days, I thought nothing of alcohol being a staple at kids’ birthday parties or school fundraisers. It was all just part of the routine. But once I stepped outside that norm, the extent of drinking culture became clear—how so many everyday events are built around alcohol. From a celebratory beer at the finish line of a 5K to cocktails at baby showers and wine-infused yoga classes, it was everywhere. My choice to reject all of this felt revolutionary.
At first glance, sobriety is simply about abstaining from alcohol. However, I soon realized it encompassed so much more than that. I believed that choosing not to drink was the peak of my journey, but I discovered that the most exciting chapters of my life began to unfold the moment I put the bottle down.
Addiction, for me, consumed a significant portion of my mental space. Even when I wasn’t drinking, I found myself indulging in other forms of escapism—binge-watching shows, shopping impulsively, drowning in work, or keeping myself overly occupied. Removing alcohol felt like a breath of fresh air, revealing a slice of clarity I had never experienced before.
This newfound mental clarity led to transformative changes that had little to do with simply not drinking. I began to appreciate my own company and crave genuine solitude—not the frantic, distracted kind that comes from rushing around in life. I learned to embrace unproductive time that allowed me to truly understand myself and hear my own thoughts amid the chaos of the world.
In this quiet space, I started respecting my own needs and expressing them to others. Instead of seeking validation from a dozen people or relying on random signs, I learned to trust my instincts. The answers I sought were within me; I just needed the stillness to uncover them.
With sobriety, I grew more discerning about my relationships, choosing to nurture those that uplift me while letting go of those that drain my energy. I’ve learned to love myself unconditionally, which means I can no longer tolerate relationships that are one-sided or disrespectful. If I refuse to accept mistreatment from myself, it’s only logical that I would do the same with others.
This self-love became a pivotal turning point in my body image. After years of battling my own insecurities, I finally recognized how exhausting that fight had been. I shifted my perspective on food and exercise from one of shame to one of compassion. Strangely enough, this emotional healing translated into physical well-being—I was able to discontinue medications, balance my hormones, and resolve several long-standing health issues, including migraines and insomnia. The absence of weekend hangovers certainly contributed as well.
For much of my life, I was hyper-focused on my own issues, but with newfound clarity, I began to see the broader world. I started educating myself on the experiences of marginalized communities, including people of color and the LGBTQIA community, striving to become a more vocal ally. I also began reflecting on my environmental impact and reconsidering how I consume resources. In the past year, I’ve made significant shifts in my diet and the products I use to contribute positively to the planet.
The changes I’ve undergone weren’t what I expected; I initially thought giving up alcohol was the only adjustment needed. Instead, addressing these various aspects of my life has felt as effortless as breathing. I remain open to whatever comes next, trusting that growth will emerge organically. I focus my attention on these revelations, allowing my experiences to guide me through transformation, even when it’s uncomfortable.
Perhaps the most radical realization is that I never want this journey of growth to end. Once viewed as a challenging necessity, I now see this evolution as the essence of life itself. It’s what allows me to become the most authentic version of myself—bolder, kinder, and with firmer boundaries.
Today, my sobriety is the most captivating aspect of my identity, though not in the way I initially imagined. What intrigues me is not merely that I can navigate a world steeped in alcohol; rather, it’s how sobriety continues to shape me, refining my character and reinforcing my boundaries. Over the past two years, I’ve undergone profound transformations, shedding old narratives and embracing new ones. I feel stronger, more liberated, and yet infinitely softer and more compassionate.
In the end, I simply don’t drink alcohol anymore.
For more insights on personal growth, check out our other post here. If you’re interested in understanding the science behind self-care and wellness, resources like this one are invaluable. The CDC also offers excellent information on reproductive health and home insemination, which can be found here.
Summary:
Choosing sobriety marked just the beginning of my transformation. As I stepped away from drinking, I discovered a wealth of self-love, personal growth, and a deeper understanding of my needs. This journey led to improved health and a more conscious approach to my relationships and the world around me. Sobriety is not just about abstaining from alcohol; it’s about embracing a fuller, richer life.