A few years ago, I found myself awake for nearly 48 hours when my first child was only three months old. He arrived just before my favorite time of year, the holidays, and I thought it would be fine to stay late at my mom’s house for Thanksgiving—after all, it was a cherished family tradition. I hoped he would peacefully sleep in the next room while I enjoyed wine and dessert with my (childless) sisters.
Ignoring my exhaustion, I was convinced he would be fine as I chatted and indulged in pie. But the reality was that he wasn’t able to sleep with all the noise from relatives who were enamored with him. On our way home, he wailed as it neared his usual bedtime of 6:00 PM. I assumed he would be exhausted and sleep through the night. I was mistaken.
The consequences of that late night lingered for days. I was in tears the next day when my husband went to work, calling him frantically because my son could only sleep for 20-minute stretches. He was overtired and desperate for rest, but his exhaustion prevented him from settling down. I was too inexperienced to recognize what was happening.
The following nights weren’t much better. After a few more late nights during the holiday season, I consulted with our pediatrician, who strongly advised against missing bedtime or naps. While some babies can cope with a missed sleep schedule, my son was not one of them. Even slight deviations from his routine resulted in chaos, so I learned it just wasn’t worth the struggle.
I often felt isolated when I had to decline invitations from family and friends because they conflicted with nap time. But nothing compared to the loneliness I felt when I was up all night with an overtired baby. My friends and family didn’t have to deal with the aftermath of sleepless nights—that burden fell entirely on me. So, if a dinner invitation couldn’t be adjusted to fit our sleep schedule, we simply wouldn’t attend.
I wished my child could adapt to my timetable more easily, but parenting doesn’t work that way. I soon discovered that my other children followed suit regarding sleep patterns; I tried to push boundaries with them too. My son, who loved to linger at the playground, had siblings that needed their morning naps. It was often a tough decision, and when I did give in, the consequences were never pretty. With three kids under three, I couldn’t afford to have all of them cranky and restless.
Now that they’re teenagers—16, 14, and 13—I see the same patterns. I enforce a strict bedtime of 9:30 PM on school nights. Teens require 8-10 hours of sleep, and since they rise at 6:00 AM for school, they need to be well-rested to perform and behave properly. While weekends and vacations are more flexible for fun, my rules about sleep remain firm.
They may not cry through the night anymore, but sleep deprivation still affects them. When they don’t get enough rest, they doze off in class, struggle with their homework, and become irritable (trust me, I have the emails from teachers to prove it). A well-rested kid is a happy kid, and I learned the hard way that a disrupted sleep schedule can lead to a lot of trouble.
Being a mother is undeniably challenging, yet it’s also incredibly rewarding. I’ve found that ensuring everyone gets the sleep they need—including myself—makes for a more harmonious household. If that means skipping a gathering or declining an invitation, so be it. This phase is temporary, and those who truly care will be there when I have more flexibility in my schedule.
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Summary
Parenting requires strict adherence to sleep schedules to ensure children remain healthy and happy. Experiences with overtired babies have taught many parents the importance of prioritizing bedtimes. While it can feel isolating to decline social gatherings, ensuring that children get adequate rest leads to a more harmonious family life.