My daughter is a joyful and lively child. She sleeps soundly and giggles frequently; her radiant smile has the power to brighten our home and beyond. She’s generous too, always ready to comfort a friend or share her toys, and her sense of humor, while quirky, brings laughter to our lives. Yet, beneath this cheerful exterior lies a sensitive soul who grapples with anxiety, which manifests as meltdowns that can be hard to witness.
When anxiety strikes, it often looks like a full-on meltdown—she cries, screams, and crumples to the floor or retreats to her bed. Childhood anxiety differs significantly from adult anxiety, as noted by the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. In many cases, physical symptoms such as headaches or stomachaches accompany anxiety. Additionally, children may struggle with focus and exhibit “negative” behaviors like irritability. For my daughter, even light-hearted laughter can feel like criticism, leading her to feel vulnerable and misunderstood.
For years, I thought her emotional outbursts were merely part of growing up. I tried various strategies to manage her behavior, like time-outs and taking away privileges, but nothing seemed to help. It wasn’t until the spring of 2020 that I realized we needed professional support. A counselor recommended creating a sensory space—a designated area filled with calming items she could touch and manipulate when overwhelmed.
Sensory therapy has proven effective not only for children with ADHD and autism but also for those dealing with anxiety, just like my daughter. The idea is that sensory toys help redirect focus, using various colors, textures, and shapes to soothe frayed nerves. We set out to create her sensory corner without breaking the bank. A trip to the dollar store yielded stress balls, a paddle ball, a cozy throw blanket, and a fidget spinner, along with a few plush pillows for comfort.
Once we established her special nook, we talked about how each item could help her manage her feelings. For instance, she squeezes her Baby Shark stress ball when she’s angry, hugs her “Feel Better Bear” when sad, and wraps herself in her favorite pink fleece blanket when overwhelmed. However, the most significant change came when my husband and I shifted our approach. Instead of trying to dictate how she should feel, we allowed her the space to process her emotions.
Recognizing her unique needs meant we had to be more patient and understanding. We stopped raising our voices and instead encouraged her to take time for herself. Phrases like “people don’t act like this” were eliminated from our vocabulary, making way for supportive statements like, “Why don’t you take a few minutes for yourself?” or “Would you like to use your special corner?”
While we’re still perfecting this technique, the journey has been enlightening. It’s all too easy to slip back into old habits of frustration. My husband sometimes matches her emotional intensity, but we now know that calmness is key to deescalating her moods. With our new approach, her sensory corner has become a sanctuary, providing her with the tools to navigate her feelings.
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In summary, creating a sensory space with supportive tools has helped my daughter manage her anxiety effectively. By fostering an environment of understanding and patience, we’ve empowered her to process her emotions in a healthy way.