Let’s talk about something that’s been on my mind. I vividly remember the day I invited a new acquaintance over for a playdate with our children. We had just met, and she arrived with her youngest in an infant car seat. As I glanced at the setup, I noticed a few safety concerns. Should I say something?
For those who know me, you understand I’m usually direct, but I prefer to be gentle, especially in the early stages of a new friendship. So, our kids began to play, and everything seemed to be going well. As she was leaving, I thought, “Alright, we’re practically best friends now, I can bring this up.”
As she placed her little one back in the car seat, I casually mentioned, “Oh my goodness, he’s so adorable! Those cute shoulder pads are a nice touch, but just a heads up, they weren’t made by the manufacturer and could be unsafe.”
To my surprise, she quickly departed and I never heard from her again. I didn’t think my comment was that harsh. I aimed to be helpful, knowing that no one can know everything about parenting. But I realized that, despite my good intentions, I may have crossed a line.
This experience made me reflect on the importance of having a supportive community of mothers. If I have questions or concerns, I reach out to friends, consult my Facebook moms group, or ask my family for advice. Without this network, I would feel lost in the world of parenting (and I’m only partly joking).
But here’s the thing: what if we don’t even know we’re making a mistake? What if we don’t think to ask for help? If no one gently corrects us, how can we learn? So, my fellow mamas, I urge you to speak up if you see something that could endanger our little ones. Even if we just met, or if it’s been years since we were friends, I promise I would much rather feel a little embarrassed than risk my child’s safety.
When I was preparing to become a first-time mom, I was all about baby-wearing. I had the best ergonomic carriers lined up, convinced I would ace attachment parenting. The catch? I had zero experience with baby-wearing; it wasn’t something I did when babysitting. How hard could it be, right?
After my baby arrived, I attended a meet-up with other new moms. I felt on top of the world as I walked in with my baby nestled in a stylish woven ring sling. Then, a fellow mom approached and gently pointed out, “What a sweet baby! But just a heads up, she seems a bit low. A key rule in baby-wearing is ‘close enough to kiss.’ If you don’t adjust her position, it could pose a suffocation risk.”
My heart dropped. All my confidence evaporated in an instant. In that moment of stunned silence, I realized she was genuinely trying to help. With tears welling up, I asked her for guidance on adjusting the sling. She smiled warmly and kindly showed me how to make both of us more comfortable.
We truly need each other in this sometimes overwhelming journey called parenting. It takes a village, right? That said, it’s essential to recognize when to step in and when to hold back. If you see something unsafe, please speak up; but let’s avoid commenting on personal choices that don’t endanger our children, like breastfeeding in public.
When we share our knowledge and experiences, we all grow as parents. As the saying goes, when we know better, we do better.
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In summary, let’s support one another in our parenting journeys. By communicating openly and kindly, we can help ensure the safety and well-being of all our children.