My daily routine is a blend of dropping my kids off at school, fitting in a workout, and expressing gratitude for the things I don’t currently possess but aspire to have in my life. It may sound peculiar, but this practice has genuinely altered my perspective, and I believe it could do the same for you. Allow me to elaborate.
When I found myself facing the challenges of divorce, I immersed myself in self-help resources, devouring every book and podcast available. They provided a sense of tranquility amidst the chaos, and I noticed a recurring message: the immense power of gratitude, especially for what you don’t yet have.
Gradually, I honed my ability to transform negative thoughts into small positive insights. Instead of fixating on the uncertainties of the future, I began appreciating the simple joys of life—like a clear blue sky, a warm shower, or the laughter of friends. This mindset shift was incredibly beneficial.
One concept that seemed a bit out there was the idea of being grateful for things you don’t have but truly desire. This wasn’t your traditional gratitude journal approach; it involved writing down your aspirations while visualizing how your life would feel once you achieved those goals. Admittedly, I was skeptical at first, but given the improvements I had experienced from practicing gratitude, I decided to give it a try.
That Sunday, I wrote down my gratitude for reaching my work goal for the week. As a freelance writer, my income fluctuates, so I specified the exact amount I aimed to earn. By Friday, however, I found myself short by a few hundred dollars. I then expressed gratitude for landing a job that would pay $200. To my surprise, after sending out some pitches, I met my goal shortly thereafter.
Fast forward nearly a year, and I’ve made this a weekly ritual, successfully hitting my targets 99% of the time. When I do fall short, I’ve noticed that something usually comes up in subsequent weeks to compensate for it.
Just a week before I met my current partner, I wrote down my appreciation for him. I created a list of qualities I desired: he needed to have kids around the same age as mine, possess a good sense of humor, share similar interests, and embody a sense of home. I kept this list in my wallet and read it daily. Six months later, I’m in love with someone who meets every criterion, and our connection has been remarkable.
I had been eyeing a beautiful necklace from my favorite jewelry store that was beyond my budget. I couldn’t shake the thought of it, so I added it to my list while imagining myself wearing it. As I browsed a thrift shop with my daughter, I spotted something sparkling at the register. Lo and behold, it was the exact necklace I had been longing for. To my astonishment, I discovered I had enough store credit to cover the cost.
After my divorce, I felt isolated without any divorced friends to confide in. I yearned for someone who understood my situation. Shortly after writing that desire down, I unexpectedly reconnected with an old high school friend I hadn’t seen in over two decades. She had also gone through a divorce four years prior, and we quickly formed a close bond.
These anecdotes are just a glimpse into the power of gratitude combined with intent. Of course, it’s important to actively pursue your goals—whether that means searching for your dream job, nurturing your relationships, or seeking out that special item.
While I acknowledge that privilege plays a role in these experiences and that gratitude alone won’t solve all problems, I’ve learned that writing down what you want and feeling thankful for it can manifest those desires much faster than if you don’t. After all, you have nothing to lose.
Here’s what I wrote down this morning:
– I’m grateful for the upcoming weekend getaway with my best friend this spring.
– I’m thankful for the precious time I’ll have with my daughter, who’s been facing some challenges lately.
Sure enough, my daughter just asked if we could hit up Starbucks, and I had just received a gift card a few days ago! Let’s see what else unfolds.
Now, it’s your turn—go ahead and make your own list!
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Summary:
Creating a “Thankful for What I Don’t Have But Desire” list has profoundly impacted my life. By expressing gratitude for my goals and visualizing their attainment, I’ve experienced significant shifts in my personal and professional life, including strengthening relationships and achieving financial targets. This practice encourages active pursuit of dreams while fostering a positive mindset.